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Spector

Submitted by lou on Wed, 2011-06-29 00:36

Spector of lost dreams rises
as she gazes at the stars in mute prayer
Virginal innocence undone

Begat from the loins of hades
Cursed, to roam this unholy earth
Soul seeker is given birth

Innocent child tainted blood
Coursing through his veins,
Murderous creature undone.

Metamorphosis into adulthood
On the cusp,
Innocence receding.

Lust broiling uncontained,
breeding the monster,
destined to be undone.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2011-06-29 18:34

Geezer's picture
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good one! Only crit. here is I would leave off the ess on [rises]. Love ya, ~ Gee

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lou

Wed, 2011-06-29 19:56

lou's picture

Thanks

Love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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Kailashana2

Wed, 2011-06-29 18:35

Brrrrr.

~A

lou

Wed, 2011-06-29 19:55

lou's picture

Another odd crit, what do you mean ?

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

lou

Wed, 2011-06-29 23:22

lou's picture

Thank you very much, it is based on a character from a book I'm writing.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

lou

Thu, 2011-06-30 00:13

lou's picture

Thank you very much.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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