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She!

She!

You must appreciate,
That the Phoenix
Here is not I
But a distraught one
I did try to rise
Above the pavilion of self,
Tsunamied by the grace
Of thy God
Tis only love
I wanted upon my soul
To shower upon that Phoenix,
A beautiful flower
Ere the limitations
Of physical constraints
Cease her to exist
But she has a heart of gold
To her poetry and mind
Despite her limitations
I’m sold

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This poem is for CRUZ'S workshop poetry critique stuff
Editing stage: 

Comments

i wrote for some ones poetry as a comment thanks

loved

author comment

how to access the workshop! if this is what you are submitting to the work-shop, it is not true to the
form we were asked for. It is supposed to be four stanzas, and I don't know how you want to break it up.
It is a very good poem, but we should stick to what we are asked for. I thought that it was really good, the title is rather unique, and it was consistant all the way through. Maybe you should change the capitals in each line to lower case, and use a little puncuation. ~ Gee

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

poem
simple in its simplicity
nothing to do
with any workshop

loved

author comment

Pardon my unintelligence…. this time thou speaketh in riddles

a phoenix is a bird
which rises from the dead,
fire, when ashes crumble
and
the last spark reignites…

a dragon is a concept of a phoenix,
it’s a dragon for ever,
Like, the bard sleepeth to ponder,
Beyond yonder
My dear Ian

loved

author comment

a lovely epic
can barely concentrate
on ten lines of poetry
gistify it for me kindly

loved

author comment

Your precious thoughts,
I shall embed,
In my softened head,
When in heaven I’m dead
And that you think,
Beyond this world lies a heaven,
That’s my only dread
And as a bard,
I shall be true to you,
When I’m there,
If I am,
I will introduce you too

loved

author comment

this is a rather captivating read,
I owed two crosses for understanding
and twice that in veneration.
I much enjoy an enigmatic write that is digested from consistent ideas

very well done, I believe

cheers,
logic

raffy

kindly, clarify if you don't mind.
your words are like beads in a string,
which when strung ,
happiness do bring

loved

author comment
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