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Silencing the Owls (Bugged by Workshop on Cliches)

Silence is golden
but this was a bizarre night
my mind was on a hot trot
thoughts running minute a mile

I wish I was at peace
not knocking the cover off the ball
by keeping my nose to the grindstone
with all hands to the pump aplomb

I was too blind to see
what the stars did fore tell
nothing but a chicken wing
was my forsaken fate

Luck as scarce as hen's teeth
despair deeper than the deepest ocean
hopes returning like a seven year itch
unmindful that Love is blind

Like too many cooks spoil the broth
silence was broken by rain drops, when
blades of green like icing on a cake
vanished like beauty before age

You'd zoomed into my life
as fresh as Summer's rain
being a free Bird,
I said I'm game

Love was short lived
you knocked it out of the park
reminding me
love was blind

Lesser of the two evils, was
when you bit the forbidden fruit
I knew not your love was
rotten to the core

"Silence is golden"
not for me tonight, when
I curse you in solitude
to silence the owls

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Dark poetry is not my forte, but had to go for it someday to silence the owls..:) I am not a participant of the workshop on cliches...this write is just to break my silence over the past few weeks..so bear with my attempt folks!!
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is good, believe it or not, owls are wicked aren't they?

Thanks for joining the cliche curse. ;-)

~A

i was waiting to make a fresh start after quite a while....i found this Cliche Curse as you said it challenging ...but didn't know it would be a dark one :) thanks for your visit and appreciation....

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

this is really good
almost made the cliche' worth reading lol

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

thanks for your time and visit ..nice to know you found this worth while....albeit on the darker side which is not my forte...

happy splashing to all those in the pool...

wishing you "minute a smiles"..how about that for a cliche :)

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

i guess rather than making my debut in the Olympic Pool it would be a good idea for an amateur like me to graduate step by step beginning with splash pool..i appreciate your invitation ..i will be humbled if you find me worthy of Olympic Pool...in which case how do i formally submit this write..you said in your comment "i can join with a re-write".. would that mean an edited version?...

thanks once again ....

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Waiting for your real pperticipation!

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

it's good, Stop standing on the outside and PM Chrys to be in the workshop, we will be happy to have you, if not your just interfering in the workshop my friend so just join. you will have fun.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

i finally managed to make a come back overcoming the writer's block...Stan's suggestion helped in going back to reading my own work and i found this as Anna has quipped "cliche curse" quite tempting and challenging ..lol...

happy to know you found this good .i did send a PM to Chrys...encouragement from folks here is like tonic in my gin...Cheers!! :)

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

don't get to druck, because you still have to do a re-write, LMFAO!!

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

hahaha...that's a good one Eddie it had me in a swagger ...lol...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

thank you for the late ticket to be up on this band wagon...i hope i do justice with the re-write...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

better late then druck lol

" if I'm druck and write a poem is that a cliche, or is it just crap"

LMFAO!!

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Good use of all the cliches, retains some originality.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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