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Fallen
It was love at first sight
Or so they say,
I lost my heart
So why give it Away.
He came unannounced
From the back of beyond
I couldn't believe my eyes!
Here was love,
Here was an angel in disguise
I made an ass of myself
When I was caught in the act -
Lurging forward as if to attack.
He smiled at me, to give me some slack.
So as with Adam
Who blamed it on Eve
I said my goodbyes
and took my leave!
Bj 24 June '11
Style / type:
Free verse
Last few words:
Just for fun... And THE CLICHE'S WORKSHOP
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-06-24 11:56
Hey Boni,
Verrry good! Made me smile. Good use of cliches!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Bonitaj
Fri, 2011-06-24 12:17
Thanks Cat!
it's actually too easy to write in cliched, proverbial format! So this is really a 'no-brainer' ;)
Glad I made you smile though!
Boni
Bonitaj
Kailashana2
Fri, 2011-06-24 12:55
For a moment I thought, thank
For a moment I thought, thank God---a POEM! Then I woke up to another cliche ;-)
~A
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-06-24 13:23
Boni
Boni,
I have horrible feeling that after the workshops on cliches, it is going to be a new genre and we'll all be writing in cliches only!!
Actually we should see about have a competition on who can do the worst poem about cliches.
I liked your poem as it had a whole new fresh set of cliches.
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Bonitaj
Fri, 2011-06-24 15:12
Thanks guys!
This one really was JUST FOR FUN... but it gave me the idea to use PROVERBS/PROVERBIAL EXPRESSIONS as another genre for another collection? Interestingly, so many of the more well known ones already fall into the CLICHE Category!
Cheers!
Boni
Bonitaj
CCfire
Mon, 2011-07-04 02:31
lol These are making me
lol These are making me shudder truly but I know it's the workshop so I am trying to just smile and think they are all doing a good job at them :P
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
raj
Mon, 2011-07-04 15:39
Boni...
subtle use of cliches not too harsh..i wonder why you took a female perspective while writing this one...in doing so you have made women look nicer than men...LOL...
raj (sublime_ocean)