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what if?
what if everything were perfect
exactly as it is
since you are awake
to read and understand this poem
and your life is not all that bad
because you're not hungry or thirsty
and you have a bed in which to sleep
and your lover is good,
your children love you and
your friends respect you
what if your dreams give you power
and your thoughts take them away
and lock them into the vault of self-doubt
what if gratitude was the prayer that
you prayed unceasing to the god of your
choosing and the brilliant light that is yours
eternal shines from the inside and you
can see it in the mirror as you wash your
face in the rain on your own way to
the sacred grove where you meet your
shadow
and it flies away on the wings of the angel
that you brushed away like an insect,
touching your skin with poems that come
from heaven.
What if there is nothing but love?
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Thank you CC for the inspiration AND the reminder.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Ink Artist
Sat, 2011-06-11 08:12
oh, this is just what i
oh, this is just what i needed this morning. very uplifting and energetic work. you have such an honest emotive tone inside this lovely imagery, it sings to the reader.
i wonder how the first line would read if split into two?
"what if everything were perfect
exactly as it is"
as I read it, I gave pause there all three readings.
(i noticed a typo in L11 "your")
i've read this three times now, staring at the screen and sipping my first cup of coffee. you've set my mood for the day - acceptance. beautiful work. :)
~lori
"I am the lonely soul of a waterfall."
Kailashana2
Sat, 2011-06-11 08:27
Much as some folks think
Much as some folks think otherwise, I bear arms only to fight the good fight---the recognition of love and all that stands in its way.
I've fixed the type (read it three times and didn't see it) and I think you're right, the first line should be broken up for *effect*.
Thank you for reading.
~A
author commentCCfire
Sat, 2011-06-11 08:31
Now this pleases me no end to
Now this pleases me no end to know that some of my simple words and philosophies can inspire someone else to do something so full of love that even at my late hour here I can smile as well. Thank you for the compliment Ana.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
loved
Sat, 2011-06-11 18:01
what if
i hadn't read you whose loss urs or m i n e????
loved
CCfire
Sat, 2011-06-11 19:52
Loved it is called 'of angels
Loved it is called 'of angels and insects' I'd love for you to read it if you want too
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
themoonman
Sun, 2011-06-12 05:58
What if indeed!
I too have read this piece this morning, smiling in my
first cup ... and all I can say is thank you Anna, it's poetry
like this that pleases my self awareness.
Now I'm singing in my mind an old Beatles tune;
All you need is Love, Love, Love is all you need.
TheUnknownAuthor
Tue, 2011-06-14 13:04
Now this is...
...beautiful...
I think I like the fight you're fighting:) And I think I'll be reading a lot more of you indeed.
Mmmm. Yip.
Yours
Waldo
Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-06-14 13:22
Anna
A good poem, thanks for it.
There are no "good" fights. Only neccessary ones.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Kailashana2
Tue, 2011-06-14 13:39
The biggest battle we have is
The biggest battle we have is with ourselves, Jim. Then we go into the world, a loser or a winner, sometimes both..... I'm sure you saw "The Fight Club".
Thank you all for reading and your comments, they're precious to me.
~A
author commentRace_9togo
Tue, 2011-06-14 13:50
I'm sorry Anna
But we must disagree. There is no "battle" with one's self, it is an exploration, a change and a resolution, one way or another. And winner and loser pertain to games and contests, not life, to me.
Its evolution, not war.
No, I'm afraid I've never seen that movie, I dislike its title, and its implications.
Thanks hun.
<<virtual hug>>
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Kailashana2
Tue, 2011-06-14 14:05
Why can't it be both? Just
Why can't it be both? Just as survival of the fittest is the *gist* of evolution, so it is that we have a battle with our internal demons. Be it addiction, depression, cancer, loss of work, memory, or loved one....
____________________________(fill in your own blank.)
You've heard of this before?
Cherokee Story: Two Wolves
A Cherokee Elder was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me... it is a terrible fight between two wolves.
One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride and superiority.
The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old man simply replied, "The one you feed."
~~~~~~~~~
virtual hug returned, Jim.
author commentloved
Tue, 2011-06-14 16:19
The beauty in your thought
The beauty in your thought
Surpasses all imagery,
Twud have been
My loss
IF
I had not been exhorted
to read …
We all are angels
Of our own breed
Akin to apparitions
Of human seed
Upon wings of angels
We seem to fly
And
With and into eternity unknown
We all perish
So whilst we live
Life, we ought to
cherish
loved