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My Wings

The flame in me
Which burns
Endlessly
Is about to be quenched
Awaiting my need
Is my love

On wings of gossamer
I fly like the birds
That migrate home
After winters cold
To the warmth
That touches me
Deep within my
Soul

Our love is a volcano
Erupting
Taking us beyond
The highest
Chakra
And holding us
In bliss

Together we are
That force
Which few have felt
For our union
Is of the cosmos.
From time
Everlasting
Straight pass eternity.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
I know the end three lines sound "Peter Panish" but is was my intent to create a magical poem with pixie's dust and all. I hope I successed.
Editing stage: 

Comments

"Which few have felt"...you think!!!?

Straight PAST eternity...or beyond, or?
A pass is a permit.
As we pass eternity might be good?

Not totally happy about the use of gossamer here.

"Our love is a volcano
Erupting
Taking us beyond
The highest
Chakra
And holding us
In bliss"...I like this verse very much, you could even have chakras.( Wik. used a small c!)

The volcano "quenched" flames?

Jus quibbling again Eddie, love from Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

"eternity" in this is something we can pass by, because the will continues beyond it. I am trying to show how much further we will go, not past as in the rear. or left behind. but pass all that is unpassible
"as few have felt" it is speaking to her to no one else we can not assume we know someone elses feeling. I know in this write what the two feel.

well I'm glad you like one verse, I am just expressing my love. Today June 2, I fly back to Los Angelos to be with my love and this is what the write is about, thank you for your critique but truly I can not see it as you do, Sweet Ann

Love to you always oxox
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I can only live that kind of relentless feeling of love, a full giving of ones self thru poetry. I hate mushy love poetry but you left that easy ride behind and stepped it up many rungs higher. Thank you because without poetry like this I would not know that kind of passion for another actually does exist. Loved this Eddie, truly.
I do have to add, I do have chances here and there to feel that kind of overwhelming consumption of anohers whole being in my dreams, but those are few and fast between since I am a terrible insomniac, I still have not been to sleep since 2 days ago except for a quick 1 hr. napper. So, I suppose I can say I have felt it just not physically.

Kim
(V)

Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

You have felt it, in your love of life and poetry.
So don't sell yourself short, love is not always with another, it can be the love you feel for yourself and how you live.
thanks for the open comment on your own feelings. I am happy to have conveyed my love through words, and you understood ir.

regards my friend
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

You are one of the few people here that read the options and last words. respect to you.
Thanks for the visit and comment

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Beautifully written! I hope you shared this poem with her. She is a lucky woman indeed! I love the way this piece flows so effortlessly. Almost like it wrote itself.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

thank you very much, it is always a great pleasure to see you on my page.

regards,
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

EXSHOLIENT VERSE

Our love is a volcano
Erupting
Taking us beyond
The highest
Chakra
And holding us
In bliss

I also of my own, picked up the volcanic verse, as ma’am does. But she does not read me, shorn of the nuances of English language, dormant soul, Loved. She thinks I’m Istan from Baluchistan. She doesn't spare a moment of thought, English is all she’s taught. Folks have many other vocations too, now like her, I shall become a critique too.

loved

Stop being so scintific, and tell me what you thought of the poem. this is my page, no?

thanks Buddy for coming by,
it's always nice to hear from you.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

So new and so unfamiliar with everyone, I'm looking into the past. Perhaps not too far.
Without your comment I would have made a small complaint about the overuse of cliches-
"On wings of gossamer", "Our love is a volcano", and on. But knowing the attempt I might suggest a broader use of them. To make use of but a few leaves you open for criticism by the Weirdelves of the world. Use them liberally and you just might create that "dream world" effect.
As mushy as some of this is I actually liked it much better than the one I just read before. The language was concise and easily understood...and truth be told, I like a good, mushy tale.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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OK, your starting to get out around the site and that's a very good thing, because that how we learn and voice our opinion here.
Thanks for the visit again

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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