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OLD FARTS CLUB

I remember childhood days
sitting in a country store
hearing tales told by the score
amid tobacco's acrid haze
around a wood stove's warming blaze

Old guys talking of their past
often laughing at the time
when a soft drink cost a dime
whether Kennedy would last
and how the years fled by so fast

And there sat this wide eyed child
grinning at being let within
this "club" of older wiser men
whose language was not always mild
but, really, didn't get too wild

Often they talked about the hunt
whether by hounds or silent stalking
each giving due to others' talking
all gladly bearing being the brunt
of questions from this gangly runt

They're all gone now to other places
where pot belly stoves still dwell
and buckets draw water from the well
I oft think of those wrinkled faces
their tales of life and rabbit races

Now a few close friends and I
gather in the fast food booth
we talk of hunting and lost youth
while grandchild or nephew sits nearby
watching from the corner of one eye

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

What a wonderful story line. You captured the scene and painted the picture for your reader to see in vivid color! The lines that really do it for me are:

They're all gone now to other places
where pot belly stoves still dwell
and buckets draw water from the well
I oft think of those wrinkled faces
their tales of life and rabbit races

Now a few close friends and I
gather in the fast food booth
we talk of hunting and lost youth
while grandchild or nephew sits nearby
watching with a wide open eye

I have no suggestions for you, only appreciation for the work, as I think it is perfect as it is. Thank you for this tale blending "then" with "now."

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

It seems we are all doomed to join the old farts club if we live long enough. Thank you for your kind comment..........stan

author comment

too much sour mash lol...........stan

author comment

Though I don't belong to an old fart's club, (citizenship denied!) I can appreciate you and your poem you old fart.

;-)

HOWEVVERRR~ the last line should be (in my highly esteemed opinion)

watching with wide-open eyes.

~yours in fartship
~A

Anna wasn't allowed in
her gas was far too bad
every time that she broke wind
it drove the poor dog mad

I am aware that it should be eyes and will fix that last stanza some how.......................stan

author comment

old fart smile! Really enjoyed this wonderful piece of top class writing! My Dad would have enjoyed this too, as he was once crowned Champion Farter during his army days!

Namaste,

Lenny

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

My father's generation would just gather to shoot the breeze and would have laughed at being called a club lol.Thanks for dropping off such a kind comment...............scribbler

author comment

Old Farts Club !! The reminds of an old eighties film ( The Breakfast Club,) LOL!! from the title I though that it was going to be about the come back for the actors involved.Haha

But seriously you are truely the king of rhyme. An enjoyable comment on ageing.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I used to joke about the old farts who gathered at local restaurants and call it the old farts club. Still same name even though I'm one of them now lol. Thanks for reminding me of that movie and leaving such a kind comment.....stan

author comment
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