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Implosion (eddy styx)

Implosion

mallet strikes
bone splitting blow
unseeing eyes
reflect
explosions
of pain
vision erupts
in starburst patterns
and shards
of splattered brain
this headache;
MIGRAINE!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Yes! I do want the "raw truth". This is for the "Book of StyxII" I appreciate all helpful input. Thanks in advance! eddy styx is my male alter ego.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Cat I have the same thing. An implosion of the brain when the headache beginds. I like Eddys capture of this image he gives me today.

How about unseething eyes

of splattered brains (maybe)

I don't know if I am on spot or not. I will come back let me know

Missed talking with you friend
Love Mona

I don't have them often, but when I do, they really lay me down low! Thanks for reading, dear Lady. Always a pleasure to have you on my page. I hope you are well.

always, eddy (& Cat)

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

This is an amazingly vivid description of a migraine. I haven't had a migraine before, definatley wouldn't want one after reading your description.

Excellent work!

Love Mand xxxxxx

I despise them. They really wipe me out. A day with a migraine is a wasted one! I can't do anything but lay down in a dark room.and wish it to go away.

always, eddy (& Cat)

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I really like how you describe the migraine with your title and these lines
"mallet strikes
bone splitting blow"
and this "vision erupts
in starburst patterns
and shards
of splattered brain",,,,hope your not suffering them luv ,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Thanks for telling me the part you liked, I always find that useful. I haven't had one for awhile, now and I'm so glad!

always, eddy (&Cat)

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Aren't they just the worst form of headache possible! I'm so sorry you too, know this pain.

always, eddy (&Cat)

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

A bad headache can keep us from functioning at all, besides the basic things, such as breathing. And even that sounds too loud, LOL!

always, eddy (& Cat)

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Damn, Ms. Styx, you have nailed migraine to the wall (which is where I wish it would stay!)

~A

Thanks for reading and responding.

always, eddy (& Cat)

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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