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Last Night

Last night,
The crumpled bed sheet
Indicated the sojourn
you undertook
In the middle
Of a stark helpless,
lonely night,
as you braved
The surf alone
Oh what a bone!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


I don't consider myself a good critic. I'm not sure how to interpret this work. There is a good deal of sensuality. I don't have much to add. It captured my interest and tend to think of it as a one night stand or a metaphor for something short, vivid, remembered and perhaps best forgotten.


i shall revert
as it is a simple thought
of what all of you have indicated
albeit slight mixup.
i shall refer you to a poem
i read here,
then may be it will make some more sense
thanks all the same for your comments


author comment

sounds as if somebody took their love life in their own hands lol. Or I could be reading wrong.........stan

Ayaz Warith' poem
Last Night
then this small poem of mine,
will probably elicit a different taste,
Urdu is not my forte Stan


author comment

i'm not sure i'm interpreting this correctly, but
as stan so delicately put it, i too, read it as
someone who "took their own love life into their hands"

with that thought in mind, i have to say, i quite like
the way in which you expressed it (no pun intended)

it is a work that made me ponder and re-read a few times
and i like it when that happens


If times,
Clocks hands
Were pushed back
For years
Then assumed the computer existed
Just think how the Bard,
Would’ve faced the music,
To clarify his newer birth of words
Not contained in the dictionary.

What power did he wield?
To use a word such as musify,
As it then hadn't existed.

The bard I daresay would have had
Any explanation the way
Neopoet critiques ask now days.
Thank God I can hear him sigh!


author comment

not bed, but your collection of poems, my interpretation of 'Last Night' plays a funny game with me. Though short with ten lines, it draws me back again and again. even when I didn't get the place of the 'bone', this is a good write, I told myself as I came to conclusion. Well done.


A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

can one give
unless we all live
to the burning desire ,
a fire beneath
thanks to thee
the bone is burning
as i'm FLAMING .... THANK YOU...


author comment
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