Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


Distant thunder grumbles discontent
here at dimming of day's light
as the storm builds
in brilliant flashes

This tempest erupted suddenly
an hour ago skies were clear
then the sky exploded
from a kernel, like popcorn
latent energy

Now set into random motion
direction determined by chaos
and of duration

Such is the very nature
of life's storms
so often seen
so seldom endured

waste no worry on distant storms
which so seldom approach
beware, rather, the near

My periodic free verse attempt

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


It's pretty rough, but I'll keep picking at it lol...............stan

author comment

Ere's me crit Stan, just some things bothered me a little

"This tempest erupted suddenly...suddenly a tempest erupted

"from a popcorn kernel..perhaps-like a popcorn...odd for me otherwise!

"Now set in random you need- Now see

"Worry not of distant storms...suddenly worry not, seems old fashioned poetry where the rest isn't. Never fear? If you say worry not here then say in line two " here at dim of day" for instance!

Not quite happy with the finish for some reason.

Storms are in fashion for us aren't they Stan? Love to you from Ann.

Liked this verse:-
"Now set in random direction
determined by chaos
and of duration

The short comes like a sudden surprise.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I welcome your ideas and will refer back to them in edit. Thanks.................stan

author comment

Guess this is easy to see I'm not much at free verse lol. But I'll keep trying it on occasion anyway . I appreciate your visiting...............stan

author comment

thank you...........stan

author comment

but Stan
i still did enjoy it


Free verse is not my forte either, but trying it seems to help my classic writing I think.............stan

author comment

I'm glad you enjoyed it...............stan

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.