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We All Are! are we?
We All Are! are we?
When my mind flows
The waterfalls feel shy,
The Niagara Falls would still
As my words
Their noises kill…
But then I'm no Niagra
With water falling by the tons!
A lonely soul
Who is simply toying
with
Lap top buttons…
We all are
Say Poets here,
But are we!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
judyanne
Sun, 2011-05-08 10:03
beautiful loved
'When my mind flows
The waterfalls feel shy'
- wonderful
however, i don't know quite what you mean by
'But then I'm no waterfall
By the tons' - i think it needs just a little more here....
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
loved
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:43
If you have seen the Niagra Falls
But then I'm no waterfall
By the tons
millions of tons overflow each minute
and the mist hides the fall
for a moment,
metaphorically the words i use
perhaps don't convey
what my limited capacity of words flow can do
would you like to suggest my view???
thanks judy to uuuuuuuuuuu
can you rephrase it
twill do
loved
author commentjudyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 11:22
perhaps something like
but then i'm no niagra
with water falling by the tons ???
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
loved
Mon, 2011-05-09 12:35
Thanks done
But then I'm no Niagra
with water falling by the tons!
loved
author commentloved
Mon, 2011-05-09 16:32
please do visit
during summer
when ships take u upto the fall
the ships are also called
MISTS
if I rightly recall
loved
author comment