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Song for a Starry Night

`

Let a song rise through your tears,
Let a smile crease your wet cheeks.
Invoke kindness even when pain follows;
Let the bright of morning kiss your lips.

Let this song its sounds caress
They wipe away the raindrops and
make the echoes flee in the dark of night;
A long day floats away in its melody.

Let sleep quietly soft, lift you up
in the crook of its gentle arms tonight.
Let twinkling stars line your misty dreams.
Set sail on a shimmering crystal sea.

`

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

soothing, but a few changes might make it a little smoother.
Capitalize the [A] long day. Drop the ly from soft[ly], and change the [ly] on twinkly, to [ing]. Just a couple of thoughts, ~ Gee

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
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I've tweaked it as per suggestion and may just gotten through the smoothness threshold. Thanks much, much.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

glad to lend a hand. ~ Gee

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Your kind words mean so much and are deeply appreciated.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

....not necessarily so.
And everyone has them but not likely to share them;
unless, of course, their business acumen goads them to make a few $ just like Hallmark.
Thanking you for the cliche comment.... stating the obvious makes it all the more obvious :-)
[The only sad thing is that of all the poems I have posted up for critique this is the one you picked.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

I only ask that we wait for my Muse to appear fortuitously! Indeed, a song you shall have :-)

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

as you show a single eye
the other one is busy

winking

at the one for whom this song was sung
great friend
hope u r a musician
2222222222222222222222222222

loved

only in my dreams!

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

wish you would post again soon

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

at times we long to hear
Louis Armstrong sing,
a jazz slow
likewise Cryptic does surprise
I wished all to know
the poet resurfaced
from fathoms below,
lost in the maze they call this world
hurried and buried
between daily chores
but the return of a poet here
makes one say for sure
Neopoets are loved
by one and all

loved

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