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tossing

it will take a blink
for your name to become
unknown

i will untangle my hair
each letter of you
comb them through
un-use my fingers
the clench and fist
swallow of tongue
on your judgments

to finally see
tiny grains of sand
how water seeps through
drains away and
as an ocean ebbs and flows

you are
driftwood

alone with
careless waves
waiting

the next storm

Style / type: 
Free verse
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Comments

Loved this poem, except the second stanza did not fit for me, Just my opinion, still enjoyed this piece!

a great feeling of sadness in this one. I like the concept, but... are you untangling the letters from your hair? And [un-use] your fingers? I think you are being a little too abstract, to make the whole thing come together. ~ Gee

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Dear CC, I liked this lovely piece very much. It soothed my eyes, heart and veins.
Regards
Ayaz

I love a little bit of abstraction! You have a unique and unusual way of phrasing things. I found this piece to be a wistful piece of art. I especially liked the lines:

you are
driftwood

alone with
careless waves
waiting

the next storm

Great summation!

always, Cat

p.s.
one suggestion: awaiting instead of waiting?

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

You get it and yes I've moved and closed that door and feel good about it :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Pretty much Shirl, somethings are momentus but they pass :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment
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