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Red, white and blue

waves good riddance

to evil

wrapped in white

and plunged below the North Arabian Sea;

The Most Wanted,

in a weighted body bag,

is buried among fish

and seaweed,

oceans away from the

ashes of the Twin Towers,

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Revised work
Editing stage: 


The double spacing works well with this particular poem. Maybe because of the suggested pause between lines? . I am not sure the feeling you wish to convey, but have a few ideas you might consider if they are not at odds with intent:
L-2 change farewell to good riddance(farewell implies well wishes to me)
L-8 change cradled to bundled ( I kind of doubt the body was handled gently
L-9 a little undecided on buried, I would have said dumped but that's just me not wanting to convey any dignity upon that monster
but don't get me wrong, I enjoyed reading it as is...............scribbler

I like your comments. I agree that cradled might be too gentle. I not sure I want to go with dumped. I’m gonna think on it a while and see if I get any other good comments like yours. Vex


author comment

I have to say this is very good and I can not offer any suggests here. Brave right and very well done


OOps maybe one thing should Ground Zero be in caps?

would be Ground Zero. Thanks


author comment

I liked it quite well. I think it gets the point across. I know I could NOT have written anything close to what you penned. Great poem!! Read you later.



nice to hear from you.


author comment
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