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FOREVER FAREWELL

We said goodbye
without speaking.
Stark silences saturated
by thwarted longing, intolerable feelings

Now past colourful secrets bleed -
Into a created canvas
of new meaning
A still-life of love lost,
A portraiture of forever leavings...

Bjr 2 May, 2011

Editing stage: 

Comments

think I have ever commented on anything you have written before, but something drew me to this one. I saw the breaking up of a couple, and the doubt and feeling of loss. Nice work! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Now past colourful secrets bleed -
Into a created canvas
of new meaning
A still-life of love lost,
A portraiture of forever leavings...

How can I tell you how brilliant this piece is? It completely covers the feelings of a parting between lovers, or friends! Short but powerful. I wouldn't change a word of it.

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Oh what a canvas of feelings
a farewell made visible and bleak,
reddened by the blood of tears and sadness
in the empty silence of the sky.

We know, we who have experienced this loss,
when we would it were otherwise.

Well expressed bonitaj, Bonny, love from Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I like the feel and flow of this. Small lines..great meanings. Sums it up to a very good write in my opinion.

Blessings gal
Mona

Indeed Ann!
Loved your poetic description almost as much as my own piece... ;) many thx for all your supportive comments folks! Much appreciated!
Boni

Bonitaj

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