Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Extends the day

Extends the day..….

Hear them chirp the birds
have fair, it’s new shoot’s time
for growing. We have tabled
our bread wealth for all,
once again listen....

Happy sounds from the voice
of beings matching bird when
best is sung, bands of people
chattering lightly dog content
at fireplace swelled, ran home
to cached places friendly
wagging tail knocked against
open doors, once closed against
winter winds with chill
of bone to marrow.

Aching joints creak now and
then until movement heat loosens
grip then glide with destiny’s
steps and freedom.
Warm glow of sun found easy
along with heartfelt smile and grip
of hand, comfortable we are in
our skins now as redness colours.

Transparent goodness given
with gifts grown as care is taken
with time and skills achieving
best of all tastes for each to sample….

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
They are gone so quickly....
Editing stage: 

Comments

For me, this poem is choppy, I struggled to
find any sort of rhythm, and it seems to cover
quite an extended time period, which kind of
(for me, again), seems to go all over, and I see
it is your intention ... perhaps an edit for a more
easily spoken version, and maybe it's just me,
one never knows for sure, just one old man's
opinion.

thanks for sharing

Richard

There is no rhythm, we don't think in rhythm. We interpret and store memories without order and rhythm, it just happens and sometimes we don't even know what we have stored until something stirs the brain. No this was meant as a walk through the memory of a warm summers' day, together with freinds or family as we might see it as a child. Then later as i have tried to recall this memory. Thank you and i hope this has helped. Regards Roscoe.

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

First let me say hello and how are you. I read this. I got some of it but I would like to get a little more history or info on it. Your comment is The are gone so quickly so I will be honest here. I am a tad lost...You have my attention with the birds and I shall come back for visit once again to see what you did.

I believe there is a wonderful message within

Blessings
Mona

A very warm hello to you, i hope your well. I myself am fine and still rattling the computor keys, or scratching in my note book whenever something stirs. I hope my answers to moonman above may help with your understanding of this. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.