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original sin

you argue a case
better than mad monks
gone crazy from too many
hollow prayers
you push an envelope
a thin line
but you're already licked
by the ones you seek to dishonor
by your confession

'the unseen exists'

no choir of exultant voices
finding purpose of darkness
a deep resentment of
being less than genius
and i see it all clearly
the need for controversy
the need to be
in control

we all thought you special
we all traded blows
shared debate and opinion
justified by what?

the bully with brain cells
when stripped back
like the tree
denuded of bark

bare and needy

who follows
disciples with no
firm answers

he died for you?

argue that to your peers
be repentant and bow down
to your illogical reason

your sin is the reason
for his guilt, his death?

you are not a believer but
a politician; a lawyer
who gets paid for
whatever opinion wins

morality is
the original sin

Style / type: 
Free verse
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Comments

i can sense that this runs deep...however in the absence of background information it is hard to relate to the Subject (person) who inspired it..

raj (sublime_ocean)

It sounds as if your argueing against an institution rather than a person, if so it is well put and well written. Morality goes first in their need for survival. Great poem can't find anything i'd change. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

It is both that I argue against, the ordered religion and a person who espouses one thing yet believes n christianity, something I find is impossible to be both

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

to something or someone unnamed. From its somewhat religious and moral overtones and vocabulary could possibly be the clue. I loved the bit about 'being already licked...' quite a clever double entendre. Good to be reading you again.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

Just a friend who purports one thing but is actually another lol it goes against my grain a little

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

I like the way you write ... could this be improved,
without a doubt, but I'm not sure as to the how's.
One thing that I had a problem with is the content,
or the resulted opinion, "morality is original sin".
It's a subject I've argued on several occasions,
with "believers", the subject being which came
first, morality or religions. Believers seem to think
that man was heathenish before thoughts of god,
the christian god, but I say that even cave man was
practicing "morality", they had to, they lived together,
ate together, hunted together, died together ... and so
on and so on ... ooga booga, that's my bone, leave it
alone ... in my opinion, religion is the original
sin, but hey, that doesn't get me too many friends (lol)

you are refreshing to read

thanks for posting your work here for us

Richard

I like your thinking lol this is based on a friend who is quite the nihilist to speak with but behind closed doors he professes to be christian, I find it hard to come to terms with someone like myself who reads Nietzsche can be both? Old Fred was an espouser of morality being the original sin brought on by the religious priests who sought to control the people. With Paul being the most heinous of criminals in that he needed Jesus' death to found the belief of christianity. So to that end this piece has a personal tone directed at this friend. But I can heartily subscribe to your way of thinking too...and I will always write what I think despite how most view the world. I'm an Aussie lol we love a good scrap :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Although we may disagree on this subject, I found the poem well written with good spacing and rational thought put into it. Being a PK (preachers Kid) I do believe in God, but being raised intimately in a particular sect of Religious faith, I became disillusioned at organized religion ( churches) at an early age. I consider my belief mine and do not force it upon others.

Enjoyed the write a lot.

Respectfully,
Rett
"If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed. " Ben Franklin

Rett I have always loved philosophy and Nietzsche's idea's on it all, I never judge anyone though for their beliefs. I have my own type of faith too I guess but it's not one I usually discuss as it always ends up an argument lol It comes out in poetry though which is a writer's prerogative

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

If we believe the teachings then the homeless should inherit the kingdom of god but what the religion doesn't say is that heaven and hell are within us not some mythical kingdom to go to. It's a debate I could carry on but choose not to.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

You nailed it!
How can someone, that says they represent a 'God" sin more than the followers themself.
There a joke about that;

a bus driver is in a horrific accident everyone on the bus die's.
On this bus there was a priest who died also.
they all reach the pearly gate.
Their standing on a long line waiting for their reward or judgement.
the priest is standing behind the bus driver.
a few people are before them as they reach Peter, he touches their head and say to each
"for your faithfulness, God has given you that beautiful cottage on the hill "
to the next one he say "to you God has given you the beautiful beach house to enjoy the sea air."
Now the priest is hearing all this and thinks, (while rubbing his hands together)
"if those poor saps are getting such beautiful homes, I for sure will get a mansion!"
Now it's the bus drivers turn, Peter puts his hand on the drivers head and says,
"Bless are you, to you God has granted you that golden mansion, because you have made people believe."
The Priest is really excited!
He steps up, and Peter looks him up and down and without laying a hand on him say
"to you God has see fit to put you in that tent near the coldest part of heaven."
The priest goes insane and starts screaming at Peter, "Every Sunday I have given mase to the poor saps you have given the beatiful homes to, but not only that to that bus driver who killed us all you gave the golden mansion and I who have served gets a tent!"
Peter calmly answers, "Yes, you have given mase while your flock slept..
Now the bus driver,. every day he drove his bus he made people Pray.."

To me that's the answer, conviction in what you believe and teach.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Eddie, I think Fred said it best when he declared that Paul needed Jesus death more than his life. It was about control, to keep christianity alive he had to have some miracle that kept people waiting. We're still waiting but the priests had so much control through the years that a lot of history was fought for religion which always said blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth..I say why wouldn't you protect the strong? Because the strong cannot be controlled by the priests. lol It's a vicious circle

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment
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