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A Date With Wine

Dating is not a game
To be played like a toy
It’s not a cat and mouse chase
Among men and women

Dating is not a wine treasury
To quench thirsty desires
It’s not a lust filled vessel
To be tasted like aged old wine

Dating is not to be taken casually
For sports and entertainment
It’s not a stage for performers
Pursuing fame

Dating is a vineyard
Before nuptials
Beholding the wine not its redness
Discerning maturity

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A truly thought out piece of writting.
Please if you don't mine, just one thing
you established in the first stanza that this is your thoughts on dating and what it is not.
I believe that you don't need the phrase "Dating is not " after it's initial entry in the poem.
bring is back at the end as the opposite is perfect.
that's just my opinion.
I'm just a novice at this.

Dating is not a game
To be played like a toy
It’s not a cat and mice chase
Among men and women

Or a wine treasury
To quench thirsty desires
It’s not a lust filled vessel
To be tasted like aged old wine

It cannot to be taken casually
For sports and entertainment
It’s not a stage for performers
Pursuing fame

Dating is a vineyard
Before nuptials
Beholding the wine not its redness
Discerning maturity

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I like your revision

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

I re- read it,
I believe that in stanza 1 line 3;
"It’s not a cat and mice chase"
It should be; "cat and mouse" in the singular
Sorry but I notice it in the second reading.
Respect to you my friend

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

thanks for the grammar check. I will correct the typo

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

I read your poem and I did't find any problems with it. I enjoyed reading your poem it gives out a message in your own way. I thank you for the read. Keep on Keeping on. Read you later.

Friends,

PIxee

thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate and glad you liked it

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

If only this was true in practice... more love and less hearts broken
more respect and less date rape....
more getting into the prenuptial discernment
rather than cheap one-nighters, STDs, teasing and sleezing....
more marriages less live-ins, less divorces... and it can go on...
Wisdom and metaphorical beauty... I confess to have thought of
an alcoholic and their imminent date with the bottle... but not so!

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

I didn't realize dating had so much drama these days. When I dated back in the day life was simple. If you like someone you approach them. If it worked it was all good. if it didn't then you move on. I wrote this poem as my two cents to a dating topic my friend posted. It had almost 200 comment the last I participated.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

with the comments made by Eddie, Pixee, and crypticbard. Great theme, and thoughtful write. I think that anyone who gets a date with you, is a lucky man. ~ Gee

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Awwwwwwwwwwwww so sweet

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

I would like to come back to this one after one read. I need to read it again as the first thing that came to my mind was..Just what was that date on that good old bottle of red anyhow:) chuckle...I used to love that good wine and those romantic moments......lol

I will be back gal and hope all is good by you

Love and blessings

Mona

thanks for reading and you welcome anytime to come back and read.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment
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