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Did you miss Me?

I returned home
on Palm Sunday
to find knockout roses
behind my brick mailbox
parading their first blossoms of spring.

I found candytuft
faded to green,
saving scattered sprinkles of white
for me to view one more day.

Fallen pink petals of dogwood trees
fluttered through a whimsical ballet
to entertain me on their ballroom floor
of Kentucky bluegrass.

Dogwoods, azalea, vica
and candytuft are different. Something happened
while I snapped photographs
of starfish captured by the sand
when evening tide
quickly rolled out to sea.

You’ve changed.
Blossoms opened
as other petals faded and fell.
Fresh blossoms flowered
and youthful buds now greet the sun.

Did you care that I'd gone
in the midst of your glory
to savor other beauties

different joys

Do you even miss me?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Revised based on feedback, retitled from Untitled
Editing stage: 


You say the ending bothers you, I am wondering if you changed the lines above from

do you care
that i had left you
in the midst of your glory to

in the midst of your glory
i left you

do you care?

and leave out the line about missing you. Seems more raw and an obvious question rather than weakening it by allowing them to know you miss them lol..course it's a suggestion. I do love the first part of this very much.

"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

considering it.


author comment

no, it was clearly a typo or a kick in of ADHD, I appreciate your help. Working on revision now.


author comment

Try something like this for last part of poem:
Did you care that I'd gone
in the midst of your glory
to savor other beauties

different joys

Do you even miss me?

Titles can be a pain at times...........beautiful regrets?..........................scribbler

the spelling mistake is corrected. Glad you liked it.


author comment
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