Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

pagan

let's resurrect us
based on survival
there is a need
to travel life in pairs
you are weak
a kitten without claws
extraneous, leaning against will

the rock i am built upon
is not your morality of judgment
i don't need your approval
to know when the tide hits
faith won't wash me away

i'll stand content
in the face of deaths voice

not expecting to be saved

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage: 

Comments

although it may scare some off. Not me though <<grins>> I an I an old pagan!
The theme is a good one. I like the unfearful vein that runs through the piece very much. That unaplogetic stance against moralizing and judgement is well-known to me, coming from many of my fellow pagans and wiccan friends.

Excellent write Chez.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

The title is short and descriptive. I would have hoped it to be not summative of the poem itself. But that is just me. I am not a very good creator of titles. And sometimes the short and simple title works the best.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

This poem hit me hard, quite hard indeed. The last three lines especially. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of your work.

BF

Great title, you need not change it, you must have some knowledge in pagan precursors.

BF

lol A lot of time reading Nietzsche I'm afraid

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Be not afraid cc.

BF

lol No fear of that Bloke, I am ready for the nothingness :P

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

and your content.

I think I'd look a bit further afield tho than Freddie Neecher before calling a poem "Pagan".

The first stanza feels to me like 3 aphorisms, disparate, rather than cohesive verse. To be blunt this has less poetic qualities than others of yours I've read.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

This was born out of thoughts more than a thought out poem, it was definitely in response to finishing The Antichrist but you know the more I read of philosophers the more I feel the need to live rather than wait for an end. I think I am beginning to like aphorisms.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Ever seen the work of Jenny Holzer? She's done some monumental aphoristic constructions.

Some of my favourite aphorisms are-
Property is theft.
In a dog eat dog world, it is better not to be a dog.
When freedom is outlawed only the outlaw is free.
I am forever unwrapping the eternal present.

If you "feel the need to live rather than wait for an end" then I think you are reading philosophy well.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

No I haven't but please shoot me a link for them, I adore them too

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GbYRaVyl9M
she has gone on to humongous projections.
A quick google shows a lot of vids but I can't find her online flash works, which were great, let me know if you find them

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

It was your title that attracted my attention! (I've been calling myself wiccan when I am actually pagan. time to come out of the closet! LOL!)
I had to look up the word "aphorism", so I'm getting a well rounded education on neo! I like the way you think! I have never read Nietzsche, but my curiosity is such that I will look into it. I like the content and hard lines of your poem, especially:

the rock i am built upon
is not your morality of judgment
i don't need your approval
to know when the tide hits
faith won't wash me away

i'll stand content
in the face of deaths voice

not expecting to be saved

Thanks for the great read.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Nietzsche they say is good inspiration and to think. I enjoy it and his views on religion are quite fascinating. Thus Spoke Zarathustra is his main one, almost his version of what a bible should be but his others such as Beyond Good and Evil, Twilight of the Gods and The Antichrist are worth reading too. This came out as thoughts after reading more than a poem but I wanted to get some reaction for it. Thanks

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

especially the verse that Cat posted above. “the rock I ......
I think some sentence breaks would help me but I understand that is a matter of style. It helped me a good deal to read it not only a second but a third time.

vexations

Thanks Vex, this is more a stream of thought after reading Nietzsche so that is why it is as it is.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.