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Frailty

Darkness sometimes shudders
on the broken edges of my loneliness,
beaten back by you, by us,
from the empty shoreline of the island
that I used to be, never farther than
the next time I am gone from you.

In our garden hot in beating August sun,
hands in black soil, Daylilies and Black-eyed Susans,
Purple Coneflowers all seeding,
I sometimes taste metallic bleakness
of the nightmare that would be
life bereft of you,
and in that sudden perception of emptiness
I simply stop, lost long enough
to feel my ending.

When I am at work, bright offices all empty
as I wait alone for one more battlefield
of things gone wrong
in busy warehouse systems,
the realization hits
that without you none of this
would mean anything at all,
that I would walk away from everything
if you were gone.

And on those nights when you take our kids
on overnight visits to your father’s house
and I am left alone,
the spaces of our silent home
don’t echo with any memory
of you and our children,
and I wander restless through
long lonely night and empty rooms,
sleepless in the frailty of loneliness
I never felt before your life
became my own.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Old poem
Editing stage: 

Comments

stunned me and beckoned the mind to continue reading. Each stanza sweeping as waves upon the the shore. I particularly like the transitioning from one visual scenario to another thus unifying the poems image - the loneliness, bleakness, emptiness and restlessness.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

This one is a measure of what Neopoet has done for me in terms of poetry. This was edited and changed very little, because I used everything I learned here to write it.
I'm glad it had such an impact!

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

I have to agree with cryptibarb. This is a deep poem. I can tell it came from deep inside. I enjoyed reading it. I believe that this is a wonderfully written poem. Keep on keeping on. Read you later.

Cheers,

Pixee

Glad that you enjoyed this one so much.
It's one of my favorites. When my wife read this - she reads all of my poetry, she's my first and best editor - she loved it, but it also upset her so much that she has not gone to visit her Dad without me since reading.
Which is cool because I love the old man!

Thanks Pixee,

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Glad that you enjoyed this one. Regarding the woman involved, you would not have wanted to know me at all, before I came to know her.
You can imagine how little bullshit she tolerates!
heehee

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Warrior Princess, that's a real compliment.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Thanks for your kind comment, Eph.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment
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