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What does it take..

If I write a poem
with the beat out of time
will you tell me
or decline

then what will I learn
don't save me the pain
please
give it to me
straight and plain

when my ego is bruised
should I just give up
if so,
I sure as hell have
loose screws

Is poetry,
imagination, metaphors,
and cliches
that say one thing
and mean something else

is it in my brain
or in the strain
of your brain
to understand or refrain
from what you've read

I truly don't know
a haiku
from a western classic
all i know
this is what I want
to do.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
i think that some people here give me to much credit, I do appreciate it. just know like you I am here to learn. Jess, thank you for reminding me and not letitng it go to my head. Respect to you and your honesty.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I wrote this for fun, and also to remind everyone that we are also here to improve on our writing skills, everyone here has one problem or another, but I don't want fluff,. I want honest Critics. yes I do it to empty my mind of all these words that fill my brain. I also love to provoke thought's and conversation.
thanks buddy
No worries, Respect to you!
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

please no worries old buddy, I mean it in an endearing form!
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

'bruised' in the first line of the third stanza? I know my typing misses these little typo's constantly and I blame the keyboard (whispers) but it's really just me :P And I don't think form cares what the poet thinks and I don't think a poem knows how it will come forth from a poet but I do know that we all need to write and we write because we can. I enjoyed this.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

I call that run away fingers, But don;t tell any body,
"Ahh Shit
I spilled the bean
about not being able
to spell"
it's that Aussie accent in my head, get out!
Hahaha!
Yes, the fun of writing, But can people see where we went., for me it's expressing tthe words I see into imagery that all can see clearly.
"I prefer a slap in the face
before a pat on the back"
what did i just write there, oh God there is something wrong with me. hahaha!.
It's 4:18 in the morning and I'm getting Punchy
Anyway thanks for coming by to visit an comment, Chez
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Stop litering me!
Did that come out right or is it write
I think you've worn me out!
that kind of diction just doesn't sound right buddy. hahaha!
I guess we're in amored with each others writing, because I feel the same about yours, I feel like if you were my sister and we were growing up together in our writing house, or a study hall partner.There to much imagery in my head right now so it's one or the other you pick little sister.
thanks for the compliment!
Eddie C

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

of how poetry can shift and change from moment to moment in the quickest or from season to season
as we write and read and respond. In the end, poetry IS and our Muse its sounding board.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

That's exactly it, it is what each person feels or sees. The pitches and tones that are generated on a harp by their muse.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I understand what you are saying and I can appreciate your thoughs. I think you can write any kind of poem. You do have the talent. I do hope you will take advantage of your poem skills. Thanks for the read.

Great Read,

Pixee

On your words and Pixee dust
may sprout wings
of poetic freedom
and fly!!
Thank you!
A very generous comment you have left.
thanks for the vist to my page
Eddie C

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Ok, some of this IS out of time ...

In your first stanza, the " and the beat
is out of line" is superfluous, unneeded,
says exactly what the previous lines says,
and if removed, I think would improve the
musical quality of the poem, or at least that
stanza ... what do you think?

Richard

Thanks for the visit, and right you are.
so I have made the change
thanks Professor
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

thank you i was on it while you were leaving your comment
thanks for the visit.
sound advice is always worth taking.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I don't think you take enough credit for your abilities. You are a fine writer and poet! I liked these lines:

I truly don't know
a haiku
from a western classic
all i know
this is what I want
to do.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Let me humbly say thank you, but I do have a long way to go.
It is road that I must walk being honest to myself and others
Again thank you old friend from my start at Neopoet, your encouragement is appreciated
EC

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Wow. I read those first two lines and I could hear Ringo Starr singing in the background. Now that song will play for me all day. *smile*

Poetry comes from within. Sometimes an image, or a thought will inspire a writer to express, or perhaps a small portion of what has moved his/her spirit in the experience will encourage a poem. Whatever the inspiration, it is always subjective with one objective - to express.

Throughout history, it has been the poets and songwriters who have expressed and presented a picture; a representation of the times.

The ability to give and receive constructive criticism is contingent upon one's ability to separate self from the poem and learn. Hard to do when a writer puts so much "self" in a work. But, it is necessary if one wishes to learn and grow and most importantly give the gift of "self" to another.

Often, a reader will get whatever he/she wants from a poem. Sometimes they may never see the message the writer intended. If that message is important to the writer, then perhaps a revision is necessary. He certainly cannot go out there and call his reader a "dope" for not getting it.

And there are times when it may not be important to the writer that the reader gets his message. He may be willing to let his readers get whatever they wish out of the verse.

But it seems. we always write to be read and that's where spelling, punctuation and grammar come in to play. A poet can, at times, eliminate punctuation from a poem and use line breaks for natural pauses, etc. But, this is difficult to do. My thoughts are, if you wish to be read and understood, write in the language of the time. That's what Shakespeare did. *wink*

In all things. there is ability to learn and grow. Whether we act on it or not is our own choice. How we act or react to receiving and giving constructive criticism is also a choice.

There - look at all the thoughts you inspired in me. Perhaps I will go and write now, Ringo still lingers, and the ideas of brain strain loom in the background. *smile*

~Pamela

.. .

~"It's ALL about the Poetry~

Please join us in The Shark Pool

"A painter.
paints a bird in flight
But it is the poet
that gives it wings
to fly"

I thank you for seeing what I was looking for without asking.
Honesty is all I want, nothing is more important than someones impeccable word.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Like bees from a shaken hive, words pour from a poet in all directions. As usual a few alternatives :
L-4 try or choose to decline
L-9 change straight to honest
L-10......damn! just saw this is posted as free verse lol. Guess this is a good example of how forms often overlap to a poem's betterment................stan

your a funny guy
thanks for reading
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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