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After working until lack of light
I headed toward the homestead, bright
listening to all the peepers sing
on a late April evening

A moth came with me through the door
as if he'd often done the same before
he dove and fluttered through the air
above the couch and easy chair

I left him flitting in the den
as I went to the warm kitchen
to find my supper set out there
and my love with whom my day to share

After drying the last dish with cloth
I remarked about the vagrant moth
who now was perched high on the wall
looking gray and still and all

There he stayed for us to see
high up above our old T.V.
so still you'd nearly think him dead
not just resting his wings instead

As we watched our shows that night
while outside the moon rose full and bright
we'd glance at him once upon a while
then turn to each other and smile

Then came the time to go to bed
with the lovely girl I'd wed
we wondered if the moth would stay
and still be there at break of day

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 


You have captured a treasured moment. I felt as if I was there.

Thanks for sharing, can't think of anything to crit.

Love Mand xxxxx

It is often the little things that are remembered. Thank you for dropping by................stan

author comment

hence rough draft designation lol. I always welcome ideas, so feel free to suggest. Thanks for the visit.......scribbler

author comment

I enjoyed this one, the the only thing that i would change is line 1 stanza 1, maybe you could say ' After working until the day turned into night'. I think that it would read better this way.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I appreciate your idea, but I have often worked outside until the lack of light to see by forced me to stop. Think I'll leave as is for now at least.Thank you for dropping by..................stan BTW what is translation of Kerouac quote?

author comment
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