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shallow is the clip
the golden of the haze
that lazes in the heart
of eyes moist reception

you whom want is
leans against the
tarried shoulder
of my ache
my wounded fragmentary
arch of soul
that bridges light to dark

this agony of love
that flames
in desert depth
and star shard dark

I keep you pressed
in pleasant page
and circled with
a brilliant mark

for muse betold
you held me high
when bars for
me witheld the sky

and footsteps deep
with mystery
have freed me
from this misery

Editing stage: 


Shallow it's clip that golden of haze which lazes in the heart of eyes moist reception, Something wants me to say it like this. I get the feeling you deliberately put so many the's in this, if not this is my only crit of an other beautiful poem. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Again you've got some crisp metaphors and images in this, I don't particularly think the ending is as strong as the rest, perhaps it's the end line rhyme which may have been unintentional, it just doesn't end as strongly as I think it could. But as it's a draft and an early one I will come back and see what changes you decide to make.

"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

I think the imagery is strong , I especially like the first stanza, but i feel the rest needs a little tweak, just to tighten it up a little.

The second stanza, first line doesn't make sense, I think is is your use of grammer.

Stanza three last line could say ' a shard of light pierces the dark'.

What ever you decide it's a beautiful poem, as always.


Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

again its about love and obsession
about a stance
the poet writes
musing for the other

and wishing they had want for the poet
perhaps of love
of need
of anything

obsession is an animal fed with
great respect
Or the scars will prove its appetite

Oh You.....I wish you wanted me
but within you its absent..Like a pout
when in reality the love may very
well be there

its the hall of mirrors

and to lean Like drama or dance
or ballet the balance of the duet
to graze up against one

to wish for that to lean upon
or be leaned against

lean like the moon gathering
light in growing nights

something like that
its my bloody mind always
thinking like this

Thanks for the comments

author comment

again, i have no words

this write held my emotions captive

i feel pierced

no-one writes like you



thank you

author comment
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