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Ending Well

Old age is something that I scorn;
the ache of limbs and frailty
is definitely not for me,
I will not spend my time forlorn,
remembering regretfully.

I will fight advancing age,
make war upon decrepitude,
enjoying every interlude
of life up to the final stage
of my own stubborn attitude.

No dread will haunt my final years,
I scorn the terror death does hold
upon those who are grey and old,
whose dignity fades and hope dissapears
in the face of growing doubts and fears,

and finally, on my last day,
when life departs me at long last
I hope death takes me quick and fast,
so those I love can proudly say:
"He burned, and did not fade away."

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I love the last line, great poem can't see anything wrong with it. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Glad you liked this one so much.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

I don't drink anymore Shirl; doctor's orders!
But grappa sure sounds good, heehee.
Thanks for reading.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

very good over all and exceptional last stanza. Of course that never stops me from giving alternatives lol :
L-3 try certainly instead of definitely
L-15 try recalling the past regretfully
L-9 change life to joy
L-12 change does to may
L-14 swap places with hope and dignity
L-16 change on to come
As always, throw out all or any as you please.................scribbler

Thanks for reading, and your kind words.
I think about your alternatives.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

I seem to have the hardest time with the titles, for me I understand your title but in the same respect it doesn't punch at me enough - especially when I read this poem and feel every word you say. This reads beautifully aloud, it speaks brilliantly.

♥ Melissa

Titles are the absolutely hardest part of a poem, to me! You are not the first to question the title of one of my poems, and given how bad I am at it, you won't be the last either!
I will give it thought, and come up with an alternative, but you must tell me if its better!
Thanks very much, I'm glad that you like this one.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

"Youre only as old as the woman you feel..or man depending on which way you swing lol...keep that inner child forever I say :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

while I must respectfully disagree with you on the feel thing...heehee...older women seriously rock...I cannot fault you on keeping that inner child.

;)

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Nope, I didn't re-submit, I don't know what happened!
Yeah, that last line was what I wanted, and started with. I seem to start with endings quite a bit, when I write. "It's better to burn out than fade away" is a quote from somebody famous, but I don't remember who, and I'm too blasted tired to find out!
Glad you like this one, Oz lady.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

That's the one! LOL.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment
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