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Callow Heart

Once, so many years ago,
in a distant place and clime;
our thoughts and life we shared,
each move, in perfect time.

Words in unison, hearts pulsed,
so intimate, each gesture;
each expression, fears repulsed,
companions of great measure.

Now it seems we're worlds apart;
nothing more in common share.
The last desired thing to start,
to fray bonds beyond repair.

Tomorrow bears no sunrise
with correspondent promise;
about oneself do realise,
quite a monstrous fate remiss.

This callow heart has not learnt
to let bygones be bygone;
from past flames this quill has burnt;
perhaps hope returns at dawn.

Beat upon this chest with song,
this erring mind do chasten;
free the earth you've held so long,
remind these feet to hasten.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


Kindly Pay Heed
to the above suggestions
then i shall re-read
so far i was just swinging
in view of a snowy
children's park in front of me
when i found the poem
could slighly swing
a bit better
so it be.


Here is a tweaked version.
I suspect it will need a bit more work done on it.

'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

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