Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Demise

An unholy scream punctures the silent landscape
a flash of light, pierces the gun metal grey.
A Gothic castle, stands starkly against the cruel winter’s sky.

An arched silhouette spans a cell wall .
agony abuses the air.
His body taught as a bow,
jerking in spasm.

A pair of sleek Ravens wings , of vast dimension.
wrenched from his muscular frame.
Banished ,
Discarded upon the sodden earth.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

thank you i'm glad that you enjoyed it.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I was enamored of the same lines as Shirl! And these were very good lines as well:

An arched silhouette spans a cell wall .
agony abuses the air.
His body taught as a bow,
jerking in spasm.

Very imagery rich piece! I have no suggestions, only appreciation for the work.

Love, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I am so pleased that you like my poem.

The poem began life as a the start of the first chapter of my Soul Keeper, novel. I decided that it would work as a poem. I may put my Soul Keeper poems, at the beginning of each chapter of my book.

much love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Thanks

Love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I liked this, like recollections of midevil times, the rack to be specific.Kind of reminded me of something Poe would write.Well done:-)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

Thanks

Love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Woow! vivid imagery. Definatley got a gothic feel - you have a lushous dark imagination. I love the use of language.

Well done Lou

Mand xxxxx

thanks

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

this is image rich, well thought out and wrote
enjoyed this one cheers ,,,,,,,,,,,zigs ,,,,,nothing to crit

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

thanks mate

love Louise

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

glad that you enjoyed it.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.