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Shadow Of My Shadow

Shadow Of My Shadow

innocent as
a calf at slaughter
was your way
of presentation
you trailed me
within my shadow
so I would
hardly notice you
but everywhere
I went you followed
like some stalker
tag-along
days came
nights went
ever so slowly
like liquid ooze
I felt the sting
of transformation
as year followed
repetitious year
gradually changes marred
my smooth fair skin
cigarettes and booze
have altered me
the ravages
clearly show
even after
reforming my reckless ways
ever are you silently there
when screamingly
I confront you
with my frustrated
piercing cry
the only sound
you make is...
tick tock

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thanks, dear girl. I'm so glad you liked it!

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Time is my stalker. I'm glad it isn't yours, lol.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Cat,

I don't remember reading this one before. I really liked the 'stalker' feeling and the climax of tick tock made the whole piece worth while.

I liked the short lines too, just a little detail in each line...leaving enough space for our own imagination.

This line felt as if it was in the wrong tense:

tag along

maybe, 'tagged along'?

I wonder if 'Tick Tock' would be a viable title?

Typical Styx, and yet still new and refreshing.

Definetly a Styx II poem.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Thank you. This is a new one but it will go in the book. I think I fixed the problem.

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I knew you would understand this one. We sometimes think alike. as I told Dan, I think I fixed the problem. How are you doing? I've been thinking about you.

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Some how this one brings me back several months ago of something you had been telling me before you fell ill. I could be wrong but will think on it more. It is a deep piece and I also can relate to it in more ways then one. Great free verse!!

Will be back soon. Missed reading you and hope your a tad better Golden Lady

Blessings and I love your new pic:)
xoxoxo
Mona

Let me know if you remember what it was that this reminded you of. My short term memory is still on the fritz, but getting better. Thanks for stopping by. It is always a treat to see you. I hope you are doing well.

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

loved every bit of this one.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thanks!

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Yes indeed. You read me well.

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

..and this is how it's done, folks...kepy my interest, great contol over form and content , strong theme and style, images pop...just so good. I like this a lot

Al

I completely appreciate your comment, thanks!

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

could be an alternate title. I really enjoyed reading. The only changes I would have suggested would not have improved this, only made it different.....................scribbler

I am curious about the changes you would have thought of, as is my nature, lol. Thanks for the title suggestion. I considered it, but decided I didn't want to give it away in the title.

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

You never disappoint ! How time stalks!

ever so slowly
like liquid ooze
I felt the sting
of transformation.

Excellent imagery.-

Thanks for sharing Cat!

Love Mand xxxxx

How nice to see you! And a great compliment, too. Thanks!

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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