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STEALING GLIMPSES

Stealing glimpses
into another's soul
Shutters are drawn
nothing is manifold

But from each crack
a light creeps through
revealing so much pain
it's best not to peep,
or attempt to view...

Bj
13 March '11

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

The strongest of masks can be cracked if we'd care enough to look. Best not look too intently. Pain is contagious.

Smooth and polished write.

Diana

I haven't seen you in a while, I hope everything's good with you.
While I'm not sure that I agree with your sentiment here - how else does one ease another's pain, but to accept and understand it - I cannot fault your poetry. Meter and word-use are nearly impeccable, and you make your point smoothly and succinctly, with power.
I want more too, please!
Most excellent.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

I read this and then I read it again and then I read it a third time and was about to let it go and said no.. let me tell her

I had a problem in the syllable count maybe in this part or something did not jive with me right here. I shall revisit if I can think of something on it more tomorrow ..it is just my take..

stealing glimpses
into another's soul
Shutters are drawn
nothing is manifold (this line ..something about this line.. I believe the word I am stumped on is probably the word manifold and soul... in the ryhme)

just my wee stumblee, the rest of it was good. Food for thought..

Mona
xox

This was just a slip of a poem to comment on the insights of a psychologist's daily life! moi!
Cheers

Bonitaj

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