Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


Another nice morning at the beach
A stumble upon unsettled footing
as skyscrapers grow out of focus
they can't be swaying
like nearby palms

Fish stranded on soaked sand
deserted by familiar ocean

....of stillness

why do not the gulls dive
upon defenseless flopping food
........they know

Then eyes comprehend
the seaward horizon rising
then becoming onrushing juggernaut
of approaching carnage
............Slack jawed beachcombers
doomed for having lingered
too late to run
only time enough to die

This breaker doesn't break
but just continues on

Now allied with debris
what a simple word
even bland
easier to say debris
than :
turned battering rams
city slayers

Now once more a stalemate
as momentum and inertia cancel
before the cruel machine reverses
.......but not in peace
backwash as bad as front
strewing remains
..........all types remains
...........all remains
.............all that remains
of the world that once was
just minutes prior
to tsunami

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
for the stricken
Editing stage: 


which beach r u referring to?


Hope you're not on a Japanese beach.............scribbler

author comment

You know me. I write what I see. Wish I hadn't seen this.Regardless of the experts who say it doesn't work that way, i now await another quake on Pacific rim. When stress is relieved or formed on 1 part of a plate it will affect other plates............stan

author comment

You will find me using even more form punctuation as site allows. Glad you enjoyed write. Saddened by the motive though.................stan

author comment

Digest. Yes it is horrific as any other earthquake or tsunami I have seen in pictures and images. While the slates of the earth keep shifting we may never know why and we may never have time to run. This is where life does not think about things said or done in previous life but a survival to say to reach a destination where one can save life.

I like this and I would like to come back possibly for a second read here. I got caught up in the whole piece starting with the gulls. You have come along way my friend and I am proud of you on this one

Blessings and happy Sunday to you and Sue

Your poem effectively captures the horrific essence of the tsunami. You might want to add the earthquake aspect to the beginning of the poem - something like

Shaken and waiting,
Nature stills her hand

Maybe insert something like that after the first sentence to symbolize the earthquake.

Just a thought. :-)

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

thank you. This was written before i had seen the footage of how bad the preceeding quake was. Often a tsunami forms from a quake barely noticed on land. Your idea is a good one that I shall use...........stan

author comment

It appears ongoing edits may be needed as the news from there grows worse.............stan

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.