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Poetic Carnage...

The rhyme is torn asunder
Shivers of intent trace a path up his spine
Delicious sensations the taste of success
There are bruised sentences and smashed punctuation
The bloody smell of words left by the wayside to rot
The freedom to savage the tame verbage gives him joy
He is silent in his satisfaction

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

This sounds like a "Killer" poem. I like what you have done with it but am curious to know how it would have read had you rhymed it. That's an idea! Why not write two versions, one rhymed and one not? I can almost see Killer standing there with arms crossed his chest and a smile of broad satisfaction on his face!

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

I have been rhyming so much lately, that I had the thought that maybe I should do something without rhyming. Hence the poetic carnage. Heh, heh, heh. But for you... maybe I will write another in rhyme! Love ya, ~ Gee P.S. I hope you like the "Killer" poem I just posted.

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hehehe I love this. hehehe :-D

Props to the dismembered G.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

quite pleased with the destruction wrought in this fun little write. Thanks for the read, glad you liked it! ~ Gee

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very far off the mark this time! I just wanted to do something other than rhyming for a change, and thought that I could be really brutal. After all, They are just words! Love ya, ~ Gee

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Ouch! Splat! Take that! And That!

I hate vivisectioning words, the smell, oh the smell!

~A

that a little mentholated rub under the nose helps. Heh, heh. ~ Gee

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Edward Scissorhands of poetry.
In his workshop gone amok,
the poet turns phrases -
carving, bludgeoning, amputating
Laconic struggle with words
Almost kill or be killed
craftsman's skill
wanton serial killers den
poor words, lucky words!
Such joy to experience
a refreshing change of scene.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

is what I was after. You write a pretty good scenario, yourself. Thanks for the read, and the movie plot. You might want to expand on that, it could prove very interesting. ~ Gee

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`

Gone amok in his workshop
this poet turns phrases -
with his open toolbox
he tackles his task and
amputates, bludgeons & carves
hacks at treasures in the attic
this Laocoonic struggle with words
leaves him to kill or be killed
only his craftsman's will prevails in
a wanton serial killer's den
oh the poor words, lucky words!
In the end results a sculpted work

`

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

really appreciate that some poets are driven to write a poem of comments to respond to my work. It means that I have inspired them, in some way. Thank you, ~ Gee

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I had fun doing it, and I think that last line is my favorite too. It underscores the theme, and makes it more understandable. Love ya, ~ Gee

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Sounds like some editor you've run across lol.....................stan

but a college professor. She was all for being very laconic in one's approach to poetry, and was utterly ruthless in cutting out anything that she felt was not absolutly necessary to the understanding of a work. As might be expected, she was a big fan of Haiku! Funny but now that I see her in mind's eye, she was a very spare and brief example of womanhood, much as her approach to the written word. Chuckle, chuckle ~ I expect that she would have been a big fan of texting also, and would have embraced the lol's and such, with fevor. ~ Gee

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