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If You So Wish!

If You So Wish!

I am contemplating
Leaving,
Shall soon,
If you wish too
So I’d leave behind memories
For a while,
Till the ashes from heaven
Bury all my smiles,
Till then lest
I say good bye,
Stay alongside me
For a small while

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

i did not mean that kind of going

but from the world of poetry

as its now become so boring
so help me!

loved

author comment

contemplate all you want as long as that is as far as it goes...............stan

the darkness
take my footsteps
there is no light
beyond my life's stairs
but wait
albeit!

loved

author comment

Good piece, good convincing sentiments... all that threw me off was the OLD ENGLISH "ere I go"and "wee while". There is sort of lost credibility and lost resonance for me - knowing that that is not how you really speak...
Otherwise - great concept. Almost wanted to beg you to stay!
Boni

Bonitaj

the good old English
would have been well
And sacredly buried.

loved

author comment

poetry could not be boring, could it? lol.
might be that you need a diversion
or some poetic activity for a fresh outlook,
a change of scene to prevent desensitisation.
:-)

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

om another site i
i have found
where i have made a few good contacts
and well
all read
rarely anyone comments on another
as they all are equals amongst
greatest
some r however bastards
and worse.

loved

author comment
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