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A Crescendo of Observation
Betrayal endured
Wrath engendered
Rage resides
Where love is ended
The line is drawn
The plot extended
Once eternal lovers
No longer foes befriended.
BjR 6 March, '11
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
Tip of Southern Africa
Favorite Poets
Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)
Comments
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-03-07 10:58
Hello Boni!!!
It has been a very long time since I have read your work! It is GREAT to see you!!! I really like these lines:
The line is drawn
The plot extended
Once eternal lovers
No longer foes befriended.
This piece could be about a friendship gone sour, too, if you exchanged a couple of words.
always, Cat
*
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Geezer
Mon, 2011-03-07 11:13
Hey Boni...
Great to see you posting again! I liked this, and your rhyming is very good. The last line line seems a little unwieldy, but overall, very nice work. Maybe you could say: Now foes, we are intended? Or something of that nature. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Bonitaj
Mon, 2011-03-07 13:09
Hi you two!
Feels so comfortable being back - like putting on an ol' pair of shoes!
Yes Gee - I had some difficulty with that last line... in fact I had thought of scrapping the whole second verse - then Cat comes back and says she likes it! ;)
Great to have you "pro's" stop by! I have been doing a lot of academic work around specific "personality defects" and "neurosis" in particular! Plan to post some of the material for interest sake! and it is REALLY insightful!!
Hope to see you soon!
Regards
Boni
Bonitaj
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