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LOVE ?

Submitted by scribbler on Sun, 2011-03-06 15:32

What is love you ask of me?
well let me think and let me see
when such answer by you is sought
it requires study and thought

I've been in love a long, long time
so long it is almost a crime
with my ever child like bride
my love for her I can not hide

Some poets say love is a curse
and others that it's even worse
I've heard it described as a light
illuminating, shining bright

Love is this and love is that
words tossed like a flitting bat
love is like a fine wine savored
or sweet as any candy flavored

So let me turn my eyes above
and try my best to define love
in a plain and simple way
which in your young heart might stay

So listen and pay close attention
to an old man's definition
which from me to you is imparted
It's not having to say you're sorry when you farted

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Sun, 2011-03-06 16:27

Something smells,

Something smells rotten with this definition of love but i can't put my finger on it. Great poem as per usual. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

scribbler

Sun, 2011-03-06 17:27

lol

Kind of a paraphrase of the definition given in the old Ryan Oneal movie "Love Story" where Ali MacGraw said love means never having to say you're sorry...................scribbleer

author comment

Ayaz Warith

Sun, 2011-03-06 20:39

Enough is enough, here I want

Enough is enough, here I want to combat you for love is never a curse...LOL.......
Regards
Ayaz

scribbler

Sun, 2011-03-06 22:41

love

to hear some writers you'd think it is lol.................stan

author comment

loved

Sun, 2011-03-06 21:19

Your experience

Your Lovely experience
Speaks for you
Loud and clear
The trumpeters also
Can you loudly hear?

That’s what I say
Humour increases love
All through life’s way,
Read my poem today
In some lives
Love has lost its way...

loved

scribbler

Sun, 2011-03-06 22:43

hi loved

yes, some poems ring and others trumpet lol. I'll get yours read soon to determine its type ...............scribbler

author comment

loved

Mon, 2011-03-07 09:39

i'll await the sounds of the 21 guns which will reverberate from

FROM YOUR WORDS

till then
its only
as u say
LOL ,LOL LOL
Whatever...............
RFOL RFOL RFOL
HOWEVER
DO LOVE
AND MIX IT
WITH THE FLAVOUR OF HUMOUR

loved

scribbler

Mon, 2011-03-07 06:51

love

Is that a wedding present request? And if so for you or him lol........................stan

author comment

KINGZOMBIE

Mon, 2011-03-07 08:14

I never get tired of this topic, its such a sweet one with many points of view.My idea of love is that it can be both a curse and a blessing, its a curse when only one feels it, and it is a blessing when both share it.I agree with the mens POV, lol.I think the womans would be that if they farted they still hide it and get embarrassed when caught.Big laughs for me all the way around, lol.Fun write, I enjoyed it.

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

scribbler

Mon, 2011-03-07 08:55