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"rule of the mob" Demokratia
`
your name
still
another thousand
memories fill.
your voice
lifts
clear above chimneys
forever shrill.
your form
cryptic silhouette
of faceless clocks' idyllic
secrets spill.
your gait
saunters
deftness on pointe --
pleuritic thrill.
`
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Image prompts: rooftops, timepieces, & ballet
Editing stage:
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Comments
crypticbard
Tue, 2011-03-08 09:19
The last your is there
in the first line of the last stanza - "your gait..." and the object of the 'calling out to' is found in the title. I know it was a somewhat difficult child, this poem. Thanks for tolerating it and allowing it your time and feedback. Cheers, CB
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'write on! let these words free.'
author commentEsker
Sun, 2013-01-06 23:35
syphilis stutter dreamspake
like clutter smoke risen
the ghost of intentions glad
...
bore down through the pile
of work and found this gem
my mind sleeps amongst the
mirrors speaking to my reflection
it recognizes not
Your words are immense
and I appreciate the order
and sparse array
of how you write
did I just use sparse?
see how this poem got to me
Thank You!!
crypticbard
Mon, 2013-01-07 01:22
Aye that you did
and this is a marriage between Yoda and Olde English influences. Thank you for that poetic response.
I see how the poem had got to you! I am deeply grateful for your immersion and donning the cloak. Now it is time to uncloak and return to character. See you round the site :-)
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'write on! let these words free.'
author commentEsker
Mon, 2013-01-07 08:14
Try...we musht try!
Yoda was great!
we in our days of machinery forget
that the creator of such mastery is within
us and without from sources
of great mystery and secrecy
swords and cellphones
rightous tools in idealist hands
and ploughshares
not all knights were noble
but some from chasing
swamp rat
the gifted farmers
Thank You
(And pirate traders...rouges be yea there)
crypticbard
Mon, 2013-01-07 18:45
A rogue rat
I thus be
And ere kindly
Endebted to thee.
By bonnie verse besotted,
A brazen vessel betwixt
Each bosom re-fuelled.
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'write on! let these words free.'
author commentEsker
Wed, 2013-01-30 15:41
Besotted Bonnie Verse!
aye be yea!
crypticbard
Wed, 2013-01-30 17:06
Next thing you know
Well be spewing pirate lingo!
Thanks man, there's a million & one reasons to smile!
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'write on! let these words free.'
author commentEsker
Thu, 2013-01-31 05:57
Long before the new pirate craze
I read of the historical ones..
Never read "Treasure Island" yet...
But I know of John Watkins
I never considered the language until you
mentioned it......An interesting lot ...
we had much rain and in our basement
the water was running on one corner to the
drain...but in storms and battle the water comes
in....I was always afraid of water.. still am
the power and beauty of it and its freedom
Thank You
"Deftness on pointe" love that line...
crypticbard
Thu, 2013-01-31 08:43
The sun came out today
as if our days had never known rain.
We await that low pressure area that is meant to be forming off the Coral Sea.
And the images of devastation in Bundaberg brings back haunting memories of 2011.
I haven't read Treasure Island in decades. I have both a hardbound and a paperback copy somewhere in storage. I may have one in e-book format, also in storage (what is called a cloud) Maybe I shall gather enough impetus to read it again, one of these days...
I too love that line. There is something about the discipline wedded with art and fuelled by a passion for life and desire for perfection that brings ballet to life in a very poetic way. This is why we probably still watch the Nutcracker every Christmas. Lol.
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'write on! let these words free.'
author commentEsker
Thu, 2013-01-31 11:08
I whistle songs from the nutcracker
rent the ballet vids long ago too Russia performance
at that point as tired and clunky as the regime..
but thats Tchiakovsky ...
Thank You!
crypticbard
Thu, 2013-01-31 16:01
Haha
I've only seen the Russian Ballet once, but have watched other renditions, even cartoon ones which my kids prefer!
__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'
author commentEsker
Thu, 2013-01-31 16:49
Cartoon one! We started off with
the mice were my favourite!! the battle of course
Hans Christian Andersons tales incredible
Classic music I was indoctrined too later on
as a rebellious teen
Then punk then heavy metal in my old age..
KITTIE.."Into the Dark" how I love the read head percussionist
PARAMORE "Bury the Castle" Haley is a dream..
Slayer.....just too much!!!
Rachmaninnoff ...
and no one could fly like Nureyev!
Thank You!
crypticbard
Thu, 2013-01-31 17:02
Haha, true
Who needs flying when we can float. We all float!
But I relish in the range & variety of your cultural curriculum (?) for lack of a more apt term.
Few can confess & profess such. Eclectic & extreme in its features.
__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'
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