Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Stony Tale
beneath my facade
million untold stories
have metamorphized
a fire within
rages before erupting
volcanic lava
I pioneered
the stone age evolution
with my flint of fire
I bear the brunt of
memorials and relics
for posterity
from my nethers springs
the elixir that quenches
thirsty souls and soil
I am bewildered
by that idiotic phrase
"as dead as a stone"
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Sun, 2011-02-20 13:02
Dearest Shirl..
thank you for feeling the poem...i have always been awed by the rocks..stones..pebbles and mountains as much as i am by the ocean...prhaps the inspiration for this write came from there...and from the idiotic phrase "as dead as stone"....
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentraj
Mon, 2011-02-21 13:45
Dearest Jaycee
thanks to your suggestion i got
and my flint the fire
changed to
with my flint of fire
it looks good...
now i am scratching my head to understnad why you found this oppresive....do let me know when you find some relaxed moments...
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentraj
Sun, 2011-02-20 22:29
Dearest JayCee
thanks for the read and suggestions which are always welcome...i will look at them this evening once again ..for now i have to scurry to work...
much love always..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2011-02-20 23:43
stony
then there is phrase a heart of stone. Diamonds and other jewels are also stones, so a heart of stone might not be a bad thing. Enjoyed this even before I was aware it was a Haiku series..............scribbler
raj
Mon, 2011-02-21 13:47
Dear Stan...
thanks for thr read and your comments...good to know you enjoyed it...
warmly..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentraj
Mon, 2011-02-21 13:50
Dear Lonnie...
thaniks for your time to read and your kind words...which are much appreciated...somehow i am awed by the stones and find them to be animate objects rather than Stone Dead...please feel to crique my writes..i thrive on them being on a learning curve..
warm regards...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentKailashana2
Mon, 2011-02-21 15:40
I had a stonescape in my old
I had a stonescape in my old home; Barry and I collect stones and little unusual sticks. They're way cool together.
Sharing my version that was published in Nonduality Highlights magazine.
Little Stone
Little stone,
so round, so smooth,
so patiently grey,
I say to you:
"Help me understand
the story of your keen essence,
your intrinsic nature of solitude,
how eons of stellar configurations
caused you to fit
so perfectly
in the palms of my admiration."
Little stone,
I hear the woeful ocean
I see sparks of divinity's fire
I feel my joyful heart
throbbing
inside
your vast magnificence.
~~~~
raj
Tue, 2011-02-22 13:53
Dear Anna...
thank you for sharing your poem of yester years...it is so very vibrant...it has the power to make even a little stone smile touched by someone communicating with him...
if put along side mine..this poem is a very good illustration of an amateur (me) V/s Pro
each time i read it...i end up whispering ah..ah..ah...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2011-02-22 11:01
Dear Raj,
I'm with Scribbler. I enjoyed the poem even before I knew it was a haiku string! I think it is very well done, and I have no suggestion. I, too feel a special connection to the mountains. I lived in Conifer Colorado for a year (in the mountains above Denver) and I still miss my quiet explorations and downhill skiing.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
raj
Tue, 2011-02-22 13:44
Dear Cat
thank you for the read and your comment..good to know it reminded you of your times communicating with the mountains...
love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author comment