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Ripples and Echos...
As the ripples fade into the distance
Small waves lap at memories' shores
Eroding the edges
Echoing back to me
The words I said
Seem distorted now
I shouted loud enough...
It's not my fault
You weren't paying attention
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
New York State - USA
Favorite Poets
Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.
Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2011-02-20 03:01
It was...
supposed to be humorous, and letting somone know, that they aren't listening. Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear. Sometimes, we just don't understand what we are hearing. I'm sure that you have listened to a song many times, and even sung along with it, only to find out sometime later, that the words you have heard, aren't the words that are really there. Thanks for listening. LOL ~ Love ya, ~ Gee
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author commentraj
Sun, 2011-02-20 06:56
Dear Gee
Very reflective of the mood and echoes of the heart which can be perceived in this write...a very nice title to go with it too...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Geezer
Sun, 2011-02-20 09:31
Thanks...
I tried to convey a reflective mood in this write. After all, echoes are mirrors of sound. The title was something that just came to me, after reading a comment by someone else here at the site. Thanks for the read and I'm glad you liked it. ~ Geezer
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentGeezer
Sun, 2011-02-20 10:12
I think...
most of us do that, at least occasionally. We ride the little ripples, sailing blithely along, and then find out that we missed the big wave. Hey, where did everybody go? Thanks for the "brilliant". Although I might get a slap on the back of the head for it, I'll take it.
Love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentGeezer
Sun, 2011-02-20 09:55
At first...
I didn't see what you were hinting at with the line of: memory's shore/memories' shores, but now I do. It was meant in the plural of memory and shore. The ripples I spoke of, didn't roll off out to sea. It was more a lake or pond. Being more self contained, I tried to leave the impression that the person wasn't interpeting what I was saying, but eroding what I said, until I was unsure of it myself. ~ Geezer
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentPixee
Sun, 2011-02-20 10:36
Hello Geezer
It has been a while since we have talked. I do love your poem a lot. It is short and to the point. Not many write short poems and make them come out good. I truly enjoyed reading your poems. They are alway a great poems. I enjoy reading all the poems, but it is hard to respond to everyone. Keep on writing my friend. Read you later.
Written by: Pixee
Poetry is the living soul of the writer.
Your Friend,
Pixee
wolfycat
Sun, 2011-02-20 13:13
yes...
Listening and comprehension...art forms!
Great write:)
wolfy
I forgot my old signature so this one will have to do for a while!
Geezer
Mon, 2011-02-21 14:37
Thanks...
for the read. The arts of listening and comprehension, are directly tied to an open mind, not an empty one. ~ Geezer
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2011-02-21 14:51
Surrealism...
is the objective, subconcious workings of the mind. Whatever you heard, is not what I said, and even if it was; I wouldn't admit it.
LOL . Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentKailashana2
Mon, 2011-02-21 15:29
Never ever begin a poem with
Never ever begin a poem with *as*, or I'll have the poet police arrest you.
ripples fade into distance
make small waves at memories' shores
Eroding the edges
words I said
echo
distortion now
I shouted loud enough...
It's not my fault
You weren't paying attention
(love the last paragraph!!!!!!!!!!!) Bull's eye!!!!!!!!!!!
~A
Geezer
Tue, 2011-02-22 00:41
I'll file...
countercharges, for changing my poem into Haiku. LOL That last paragraph, was actually the idea that started the poem to begin with. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentpleiades
Mon, 2011-02-21 18:23
i found 2 tones to this ..
i found 2 tones to this ...humorous, and not so humorous
as first, i wasn't too sure of the word 'fade' in
context with ripples dissipating ...the only other
word i could think of to suit, was 'diminish' ...
but 'fade' just sounds more poetic ...it has grown on me!
i like how you've said what you have here, in
a reletively short write
some subjects suit shorter writes ...they can carry
so much more impact
i think that's the case here
well thought out and executed
your last 2 lines kick arse!
cheers
p
Geezer
Tue, 2011-02-22 00:51
Sometimes...
it's hard to judge when to stop. But there are instances when you just know. This seemed to be one of times. Thanks, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentRace_9togo
Mon, 2011-02-21 18:26
Hey Gee
I liked this one a lot; funny, a little sad, and a great cadence.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Geezer
Tue, 2011-02-22 00:56
I wanted it to be a little
I wanted it to be a little funny, and think that it is sad, that there are so many people that never hear what you are really saying, because they've already heard it the way they wanted to. Thanks, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2011-02-24 10:56
Dear Sir Gee,
Funny, yet a lot sad, when someone you want to communicate with cannot hear you due to laziness or preconceived misguidance.
I shouted loud enough...
It's not my fault
You weren't paying attention
very good!
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Fri, 2011-02-25 23:54
Thank you...
I was sure that people would get this one. Glad to see that I was right. Love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentXavier Sleuth
Thu, 2021-08-05 11:28
This hit hard-
"It's not my fault,
You weren't paying attention."
Mr. Geez Guy, I know the feeling.
This poem gives NF vibes.
-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____
Geezer
Thu, 2021-08-05 13:02
Glad...
you relate and enjoyed ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
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