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Birth Of A Killer...

Lying on the battlefield, stunned by a near death blow
He was woken by fetid breath, cold as the new fallen snow
He felt the sharpness of the teeth, pain exquisite, so bright
He was slipping from this world, when a bolt came through the night

Blue flame surrounded him, and he heard the hammer fall
The "god of thunder" had heard... a true, great warrior call
The vision of that horror, a thing that was of the night
Was limned, struck down and blasted, from his very sight

He felt most strange for being dead; he was stronger than before
Standing up, he searched for wounds... He was whole once more
No memories were left to him, he knew not his name
The past was mostly blank, the pages all the same

As he wandered from the mountain, down to the shores of life
He thought and puzzled greatly; did he have a wife?
Answers still eluded him, and so he traveled wide
No place seemed like home and hearth, no matter how he strived

He discovered that he was stronger, than almost every foe
Body healed more quickly...Why, he didn't know
His palate ran to stranger tastes, he hid the flavors well
For he knew, that if found out, he'd burn and go to Hell

He learned to cook, he liked it, none knew his predilection
The taste for human flesh; his lean in that direction
At first it didn't matter, no soul stayed his killing hand
No one was safe as he hungered, and he fled from land to land

He sought out wars and chaos; the better he could hide
Never let anyone get close... stay there by his side
The stunned emotions lying in his heart, slowly start to wake
Bringing grief and trouble; a thirst that killing cannot slake

Rage used to be the only thing, that could numb his soul
Now that knight Sir Gee, don't ever let him go
He prattles on about good and bad, don't do this or that
Killer wishes he just stuff it, underneath that shiny hat

I am my brother's keeper, Sir Gee: He does reply
For I live in you, you live in me, we are one, you and I
I'll keep your closet of emotions, you sweep our enemies away
Together, we will find out, where we belong one day

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
The long awaited birth of Killer. Please feel free to suggest anything that might make his origin, and evolution clearer. ~ Geezer
Editing stage: 

Comments

I do believe that almost all Killer writes have been lost, due to my laziness, and lack of backup. So yes, I guess Killer will have to have a new beginning. I hope that I will be able to give Killer the life that he deserves. Thanks for the read, [so many times] and I hope that his exploits will be as good as they were previously. I am going to try and vary the forms that he appears in, and will be looking forward to the advice and comments of his admirers. Love ya ~ Gee

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My first introduction to Killer, so I'm glad i got to read of his "birth" .
This really felt like an introduction to many tales to come.

I felt as if I was watching a movie there: the description is pretty vivid.
So Killer is a vampire, perhaps one with a Jekyl and Hyde persona.

On a technical note, I see you truly seem to enjoy working to a structured format of meter and rhyme.
It shows in all of your work that I have read to date. Very nice!

Enjoyed this read.

Psyve

not exactly a vampire, but a cannibal. Yes, he does have a split personality. Sir Gee is his moral and emotional side. The meter and rhyme is a challenge to use for such long works, but I do really enjoy it. However, as I said; there will be times that I will break away from it. It is not a planned thing, it just happens. I start to work on a poem, [be it Killer] or something else, and it flows the way it goes. I write for the pleasure of it, and when it becomes work, I stop writing. Killer is the way I started blowing off steam, about things that bothered me, a release-valve, if you will. I used to have a very bad temper, and this was the way to get rid of the tension without actually doing something to hurt someone. I will gather as much of the old material as possible, and fit it in where I think it might go. Thank you for the read and comments, and we hope that you will continue to be entertained by Killer and Sir Gee. ~ Geezer

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that you enjoyed. We will try to keep Killer and Sir Gee, rolling along. ~ Geezer

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He sought out wars and chaos; the better he could hide
Never let anyone get close... stay there by his side
The stunned emotions lying in his heart, slowly start to wake
Bringing grief and trouble; a thirst that killing cannot slake

Rage used to be the only thing, that could numb his soul
Now that knight Sir Gee, don't ever let him go
He prattles on about good and bad, don't do this or that
Killer wishes he just stuff it, underneath that shiny hat

These two stanzas brought goose bumps! And the last verse is, pardon the expression, "Killer!"

I am so sorry to read that your previous poems of Killer were lost. That is a tragedy in itself. I hope to be reading more from Killer as you prepare his new beginnings and exploits. I thought this piece was a smooth read and I have no suggestions.

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

if this taught me anything, it taught me the lesson of not being lazy, and backing up my work. Killer and I will survive this, and be the stronger for it, I'm sure. We will have further adventures, and they will be just as great as the ones of previous times. Maybe we will even try to re-create some of the old tales. Like the T.V. show about the Bionic-man, Steve Austin, we will make him better than he was before. Love ya, ~ Gee

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and Killer still have some roads to travel, and some tales to tell. Their fates and fortunes are tied together, and I see a long relationship here. Thanks, Love and higgest bugs, ~ Guy

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I need a teddy bear to read this. Or my lamb chop X-mas puppet stocking.

You, Cat and others have created a dark persona to house the *killer instinct* a la Clive Barker, Stephen King. Ever think of writing novel, novella?

~A

p.s. all my stuff is gone too, not only once but this is the 2nd time...do I back up? not yet. crazy, eh?

are just the thing to keep the nightmares away. Yes, I have thought about writing a novel. But the thought of all the stuff you have to go through to get it published, makes me depressed. Get yourself a thumbnail back-up. They are cheap, and easy to use. 4 G's are enough to hold a novel, or whatever you might want to keep. I haven't even put a dent in mine. So, in a word, yes, you are crazy! ~ Gee

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Sorry to hear that some of these were lost due to the crash.I enjoyed seeing where he came from.Looking forward to finding chapter 2, lol.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

I have read this a few times now, and i love it, the potential i think is enormous. Just a couple of points, verse two lone four, did did you mean limned. verse five line one, it reads,{ than his most every foe } does not read very well. Still a graet story, Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

limned. And I looked at the line you had issue with, and changed it to : almost every foe. Thanks for the read, and suggestions. ~ Gee

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