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ice melts
fog rises
the pond is gone

frightened
wings swooshing
geese have landed

I am
still running
shores of my past

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Mow I understand that why in a comment to Stan you had humorously mentioned that at times you start from end to beginning which seems to be the case here because your stanza # 3 is very powerful and i believe the heart of this poem for which obviously you have preferred not to have any specific Title...

Regards...

PS I believe npo one other than me is using the "select if your comment is your official critique" option...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I stand corrected...there is indeed a title which graphically shows "shores"...clever use of graphic
.................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

would be proud of you.

And yes, we are.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Critique has already been given so I'll just point to a typo :either geese have or goose has......stan

thank you, very much!
corrected

IRiz

author comment

reading more
like forty pages
not such melted rages
from a pen which has the solarly ink
which makes eyes blink
and
the likes of stan and lovedly
have to only think

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