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Winged Hope Awakening

Swoosh, I hear wings glide
across my quiet spot near
babbling water along the creek.
I imagine
wise owls
limping along winter gray limbs
basking in first streaks of
sunlight,
collecting my vibes
gathering my pains
my joys
together for me
and sending them
to me revamped,
and wrapped with hope.
I stir out of
comfort to
face today
optimism blankets me.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thanks for the title. Hope it is okay for me to use it.

vexations

author comment

I have to agree with lonnie, it is a nice poem that deserves a good title. Hope this helps in some way. Regards Roscoe.

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

I appreciate the suggestion. I like it but have decided to go with Winged Hope Alive. The one Lonnie suggested. Hope you understand.

vexations

author comment

wise owls
crawling along winter gray limbs

For me, the imagery of this sentence is wrong. The word in particular that bothers me is "crawling" Maybe: stepping along winter gray limps, or inching along? I mostly enjoyed this:

and sending them
to me revamped,
and wrapped with hope.
As I stir out of
comfort to
face today
optimism blankets me.

Always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Your comment was “spot” on. Birds don’t crawl........

vexations

author comment

just one conjunctive word:

I imagine
wise owls:
who
is crawling along winter gray limbs

etc.

and imo, lose the word *as*.

I stir out of comfort,
etc.

(Love the scene!)

I think I am going to like this revised Neopoet. I like help. Your comments are always appreciated. Cheers, Bill
Will make that correction.

vexations

author comment
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