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For Someone Whom I Know

Submitted by Dennis Go on Wed, 2011-02-09 16:43

For someone whom I know:
All the words, deeds and redundancies
Buried with memories,
Written in sheets alleviated
By time and amber ties
Disintegrating.

For someone whom I know:
The resurrected obscurities
Engulfed within my heart,
My soul and insecurity,
Sufficed by gall and bile
Retaliating.

For someone whom I know
Are these two words exhilarating:
"Misguided trust", gleaming
The heart with realizations
Of hefty betrayal
Obliterating.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
Placed a comma on the end of 1-3. - Thanks for the tip, Amal.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Dennis Go

Thu, 2011-02-10 11:06

Dennis Go's picture

Maybe I should put a comma separating lines 3 and 4 to make my point clearer.

For someone whom I know:
All the words, deeds and redundancies
Buried with memories (,)
Written in sheets alleviated
By time and amber ties
Disintegrating.

____________________________________________________________________
Regards,
Dennis

"Death smiles on us all. All a man can do is smile back." ~ Maximus Decimus Meridius

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