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Roaming Facades

Submitted by Dennis Go on Fri, 2011-02-04 16:38

The sky crumbling
Loose strands
Of clouds
Prelude
To roundabouts
Of floodgates.

Gush - gush -
Breakwaters open.

Tides

Tides.

See the spectator
Rushing through the wind,

Stings
And scars
Under waded footprints.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Editing stage:

Comments

Thu, 2011-02-10 11:13

Sorry for my late response though.

____________________________________________________________________
Regards,
Dennis

"Death smiles on us all. All a man can do is smile back." ~ Maximus Decimus Meridius

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