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Impeach (co-write with Ziggy)

Impeach

You're Beelzebub's minion, 
The devils disciple don't
tell me of your long arrival
your crucifixion revival gone wrong

A life given up to a drug induced
death song the lonely wasted
belong, I don't concede to weakness
for the eternal damnation of this soul,
my belief swallows this whole.

My essence your toll I'd rather walk on
burning coals than carry your scorn,
still refusing to belong, have yet to
hear your resounding gong

Deliver me from temptation,
Believe when i say you wont teach me.
Don't try to reach me with wicked ways,
My strength is at the core,

My faith in man is unswerving
The human race will prevail
You won't impeach me.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

What a strong and forceful write!I applaud you both on this powerful piece! I have no suggestions for changes to be made. What was your inspiration? I particularly enjoyed this:

My essence your toll I'd rather walk on
burning coals than carry your scorn,
still refusing to belong, have yet to
hear your resounding gong

love to you both, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

hey there hows the form good I hope, a "WOW" thank you so much cat
I only sent my lines to Louise yesterday evening and here it already
Louise is such an easy writer to do a co-write with, ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Ziggy wrote most of this, he was good enough, to allow me to contribute.

Thank you for your kind comments

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Louise I am amazed at how you can take what I send you and turn it round so well
in such a short time, that is not something I could do at all, our styles seem to blend
together so well, at least I think so lol, you do yourself no justice you wrote the lines
I could not to complete this one thank you for that, let folk guess who wrote what hey
for the craic as we say over here, lol

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

I thank you , i'm sure zigs does to.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Well, Mr Ziggy & Ms Lou,

this is a stunning piece of poetry. Seamlessly linked stanza's and enough punch to blow Neopoet right out the universe.

Favourite stanza:

My essence your toll I'd rather walk on
burning coals than carry your scorn,
still refusing to belong, have yet to
hear your resounding gong

It has my most favourite word in it!

Very dark too...viciously dark!

And what is all this nonesense about you finding it really easy to work with Lou...I thought I was your favourite co-writer!! Lol! I find Lou to be really pushy and bullies me into using her ideas!!...only kidding!

Good, no, excellent co-write,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

you may remember I sent my part of this to you as one of three,
before I got the idea of roping Louise into co-write lol
she did so good as you were not to enamoured with first edit
which was good because it became better, lol i'm not takes sides
your both good to write with lol, cheers hood , ps ,,,,,wats your
fav word my first guess is 'scorn' ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs ,,,,,,,,,,,,and the title
was as ever your idea from when I sent this as a first draft to you
cheers for that as ever ,,,,,,,,,

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Zigs,

I know I am your favourite co-writer!..Lol!

Yes, I love the word 'scorn'...yet to date have never used it once in any poem/lyric I have written!

I did notice this was one you'd sent me before...it is fantastic now...just needed a woman's touch!

regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Hs,

aww ziggy luuuvvess me lol ( sorry zigs, just winding you up as usual lol).

As always a woman saves the day.

lmao

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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