The Appointment ....the finale /////imprint
Submitted by lovedly on Thu, 2017-02-23 13:57
''As my time is nearing
the coast of time
Soon I may also be
non -existent...''
A very young girl
we knew
just went into the ops room
and said
‘’meet you on the other side.’’
We all stand by the side of the river
when the stream will engulf us
no one ever knows
We just look blank
into wilderness
who is calling us
from where
She came into my dreams
and said
''friend come over
its fun and folic here
Oh you need not fear..''
So impressed by her great
intense message
as she spoke to me
before she really departed
I felt such a surge
as if she was calling me
She was too young
much younger than us
but the unknown force
can call any one
any time
anyone
without any fuss
So worry not our fraternity.
Time is always a mystery
those who come must go
but when?
even heavens do not know.
That is the best part of the living show.....
Style / type:
Free verse

Comments
Keith Logan
Lovedly
This is one of the best poems
you have shared here,
which makes me think it is based on a real event.
That being the case, you have my deepest sympathy.

ME
at times poets
speak the whole truth
this is a recent occurrence
sad emotional
but factual
thanks for the consolation
life is like a flower
it's a bud
flowers open
then erupts
fragrance merges with the universe
ether!
Sparrow
Loved
A lovely tribute to a young girls acceptance of another sojourn,
one filled with the love of all time.
We have more to learn and the little girl has taught you so much and maybe just maybe her whole purpose to being here fleetingly was to give you that message and for you to learn the meaning of life in its entirety locked in a few words, "Meet you on the other side" affirmation of another thought.
Young loved you still have much to do and many ways to walk, then when your lessons have been learned you can come sip a cup of Blue Mountain Coffee with me.

One of your best works
and a way ahead for you to venture, Yours Ian..
It reminded me of that little girl that called me "Poppy"..
ME
I have been missing your blessings Ian
I have been missing your blessings Ian
I have been missing your blessings Ian
I have been missing your blessings Ian
the only one
who really knows my worth
is you
O man
Ian
BLESS you
If I can!
O poetic man
A cup of coffee
keep ready if you can
as soonly
we all will be on the other side
then we will have
all we need
O Man!
Loved
I have changed the drink to Coffee of the Blue Mountain type.
A seat for you to rest but there's a problem, in that state of being, you will need for nothing, but there we can have everything.
There in the light we will swirls as only pure energy can do and be anything we wish to be.
I will still keep a cave and there we can teach each other of the ways of eternity,
ME
Sparrows make our day
you too Ian
do most of the time
we all are moving along
in a caravan called
TIME
so rhyme and chime
having cappuccino coffee
is no crime...
its taste is prime

KINDness and thank you for your maiden
visit and comment
poet of our clan
lovedly

beautiful you tube thanks for sharing
enjoyed it
True lovers endure pain
Don't make haste
just to waste...
sex and marriage need COMPROMISE.....
at times one is down...
at other times the other......
the opposite one must up- lift the downer ...
and then move on--------
most of you make haste and search another ...
it's really a waste .....
meditate and recoup/regain your love......
all humans need compassion..
both men and women
even men,
though they don't show
are often more emotional..
manly ego at play mostly.....
more of the time
so be friends like a doc and patient
have patience!
Amen..
must see
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0YxeTjFn70
it's a beauty
themoonman
Hi Loved,
I do like the poem but also feel
it could be improved. Your title,
although a good one is used so
much during the write it steals
the power. If it were me, I'd change
the title, something cryptic that will
be understood during the readers
visit.
You succeeded in delivering a
passionate poem, thank you for
sharing it.
ME
moon man sir
modified
now perhaps a changed
Title
as you may suggest
may make the poetry
more intense
thanks
lovedly /moonman

Loved
Your small changes have completed this write.
As Richard said the title should be an invitation, now it is and draws the reader in..
The subtle change in that one line is all that is needed.
The little girl that called me Poppy, was the same as this little messenger, you just have to know who they are but maybe this will always take a time, then one day as with this poem the understanding of her words washes over your mind with rainbow colours.
Take care young Bard and know there are many that care..
Yours Ian.
.the sparrow hit the nail on its head then
flew away to make a cup of cappuccino for this
Lovedly
bard
Thank you all for your consideration
author comment
Keith Logan
A possible title
A friend's appointment with love.

snowbells
Hi Lovedly;
Well, I have no comment on the title, but I imagine it is the young girl who had an appointment with her bleak destiny--but I hope that wasn't so.
Lovedly, this is a very thoughtful and well-laid out poem.
Much liked, my friend; too many good lines to comment on. :)
Jerryk.
lovedly

Thank you so much Jerry
She actually passed away
the following day
did not let me know
she was really going
this one time.....
May be she did not want to hurt
a deaf ole man
Her soul
if any now rests in peace.
This is the first poem of actuality
I have ever composed
All else I muzzle in
snowbells
Sorry about that,
especially if a young life is involved.
For a first poem ever this one is pretty special. Nicely done. :)
Jerry
yeah she was fairly young
leaves behind a gal 19
and distraught
hubby and pop
she was to go much early
but stayed on
God's smaller mercies
perhaps
thanks
SNOW JERRY
author comment
Esker
when the gate guard checks his clipboard
and my arm in leather jacket

U have asked
and U have received my
view Lovedly
but
I like that U do ask
then mere want
for only works receive
the reap of faith
and belief!

another great write from

U who indeed cares about
the fellows then whinge
of the pure self
U salvage the old school
view of togetherness and
joy of living!
Mr Wolf!
lovedly
my salutes my thanks
Esker
now
Mr Wolfe
Esker
your welcome
like a mont to a calme
it plains me to say
like ol abraham would
bray..
W

HA
U SAY
YOU MEAN
In stables
do tell me
why horses need lights on at night
as they stand and sleep
in stables
author comment
Sparrow
Loved
Now you have drank of the praise,
know that reality is sometimes cruel, but look at it from all angles dear loved.
The lady in question did linger and affect your reason for many years, giving you time to assess your inner being.
Did you learn from this lady and as I said earlier the reason for a spirit is a mystery.
Do we learn from them, or do we teach them, or is it once again a mutual event that touches two spirits, where each in their own place learn from the other.

That glow has lit a pathway for you, and I hope that in these years of being separated from that one event, it enhanced the girls journey.
Each day young Bard we meet like spirits as we journey on, waste not one learning moment and send unconditional love to her for the gift she gave you..
amen

author comment
weirdelf
Late, but I'm here.
"We all stand by the side of the river
when the stream will engorge us
no one ever knows "
lovely stanza.
Your use of archaic poetic language like
"ere she really went
I felt such an emotion"
Never works, and using the word emotion is like using the word beauty in poetry, it must be evoked, not just the word used.
I really dislike references to other poets, it's already too much an exclusive club, when you refer to Neopoets it is unforgivable ass-licking.
Not keen on the divinity references, not just my atheism, it is a bit like 'beauty' or 'emotion' it is a way of not saying something.
Brilliant last line-
That is the best part of the living show.....
Your tenaciousness, grace and forgiveness make me love you more than your poetry does.
Cheers,
Jess

lovedly
your love for me, still an upcoming poet over seven decades old
your love for me,
still an upcoming poet
well over seven decades old
''sends electric currents up my spine
I shiver
but not shudder''
poetry, beauty, emotion,
archaicism
and
god, divinity
will be reconsidered
if the poetry is not transformed
back into hibernation
into its nascent cell
as all shells
can't produce oysters
few alone produce
invaluable gems
You all read
and
help me grow
as a poet of credence
(no ass licking here)
no comparison
we all are poets
unique
some sweep
others make readers weep
and
they alone are true poets
all poetry is splendour
if communication is tender
we all stand by the ocean of Time
which we call life
in moderna vocabulary
mark this poetry
only if you wish

weirdelf
[a very gentle smile]
You know there was a time when I really couldn't stand you, and even though you still give me the creeps sometimes, all my heroes are weirdos,
I have come to appreciate you, your poetry and even become very fond of you.
In this case familiarity dispels instead of breeds contempt,
xx
lovedly
In this case familiarity (dispels) ??instead of breeds contempt,
cheers
let it remain a mystery
what you want to say to me
jess
There is no mystery
Jess said he has grown to like you, as indeed I think we all have.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
lovedly
ME
grateful kindness
all friends
who have now started liking me
thanks regards salaams and salutes bows courtesies etc
and any kind of salutations you may prefer
scribbler
a quicky
One word stands out to me as being.....
not the best. "engorged" just doesn't seem right somehow. Try some alternates such as engulfs, swallows, digests, takes.....you get the point and I'm sure you can come up with many other options. But the poem with just a fast read is good I think.............stan

thanks stan for a quickie i think i wll replace it...
engulfs

Loved,
You have received a ton of great feedback here. I think your changes have really helped this poem as well so it is great to see you really workshopping and everyone joining in. This is exactly what Neopoet should be about. Even though this poem is a part of the tragic reality that many people are taken from this earth at too young of an age, you've captured what it can be like for the people who are left behind. Your poem is a good example of the motto "carpe diem" and how we must cherish life. A poem like this will connect with lot of readers, which you can see it has already done.
"We all stand by the side of the river
when the stream will engulf us
no one ever knows"
I really like the change to engulf here. I think it fits really well and could even be open to interpretation, depending on if we either fear or embrace the water as it comes to us.
If I could add my few small suggestions:
So worry not our fraternity.
Time is always a mystery
those who come must go (remove the comma from this line)
but when? (add a question mark to this line)
even heavens do not know.
I think these two small changes in punctuation would make this stanza flow more smoothly for me. When I read it aloud, the pause after the comma sounded unnecessary and a I think a question mark would give the right inflection and pause to the second to the last line for readers to stop and ponder for a moment.
Kelsey

thanks Kelsey...
complied with gracious thanks
You may now read the
Final version

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