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short story:The Luck of Numberta

Student submission: Eduardo Cruz
Professor Sally Leslie; remedial writing class
University of Maryland

The Luck of Numberta

Numberta Vigori impatiently waited for the train.
At this snails pace, I’ll be home at 9:30pm with only a half hour to go meet Dave.
I hope he pops the question, I will immediately say yes, who wouldn’t. Dave will be out of Colombia University soon and interning at some hospital, hopefully at Mt. Sinai. In two years he’ll have is own Cardiovascular Practice. I will be living like a Queen, she thought smiling to herself.

She looked down the subway tunnel and saw the lights of the train and felt the forward rush of wind as the # 7 train was coming into 42nd street and Grand Central station. She was waiting at the center of the platform, as the train came to a screeching stop. The double side by side sliding doors opened letting out its passengers. Numberta pushed her way in through the disembarking passengers saying stormily,
Get the hell off already!
Behind her she heard the angry calls of the passengers,
Bitch, who the hell do you think you are?
Go to hell puta!!

She wanted to hold up the proverbial finger, but couldn’t because her hands and arms were filled with bags from Bloomingdale’s. She rushed to her right to get a two person corner seat. She set her bags down on one side and sat on the other, this way no one could sit next to her.

Numberta was a tall heat lamp bed tanned, bottle blond. She looked as if she had just walked off a Mediterranean beach and it was now the middle of a cold October in New York. Her greatest attributes were her “D” cup silicone breast and her callipygian. She was a perfect future trophy wife, but yet she hated when those worthless low life’s on public transportation eyed her or made an attempt to get next to or talk too her, so she sat there with a agelast face

In the same instance that Numberta was boarding the # 7 train at the middle of the platform, Cavatha Moragano was boarding the train at the end of the platform. He stepped into the train at the last set of double sliding doors on the last car, and stood just at the entrance. The conductor announced the next stop, as the door closing warning went off, “Bing Bong!” Cavatha surveyed the passengers in the last car as the train began to move with a jack rabbit start down the tracks. He looked around as if he were in a Butcher Shoppe, looking for the best cuts of beef.
He slowly started to move through the car heading towards the front as the train traveled uptown. He moved cat like as if he were on the prowl, the movement of the train did not break his smooth stride. When he reached the end of the car and came to the exit door that lead to the next car he turned around to double check the commuters, he didn’t see any that interested him.
"There’s no prime cuts here, he thought". He opened the door and stepped out between the two cars.

Cavatha looked through the safety glass on the next car door and thought, nothing good in that car either, sliding open the door that lead to the next car he stepped in almost stepping on a slimy substance that someone had spilled on the Armstrong tile floor. He abruptly jumped back slamming his back into the door.
All the passengers looked up when they heard the sound,
Here we go another nut!
I hope he doesn’t sit next to me?

Cavatha was frozen against the door and in fear he looked down. What he saw in his disturbed mind was a pool of molten lava, with steam like arms jetting out and reaching for him. Cavatha steeled himself and shagged over the lava. When he made it over the pool he let out a whimper like a scared child, but he still didn’t feel safe, so he ran for the next sliding door to get out of the car. He didn’t look back for he had fear the lava was after him. He reached the door slid it opened slamming it hard against its back stop, out he went to the next car without checking the car for fresh meat.

The train came into the next stop, where Minos Skulidakis stood murmuring and quagswaging. Every now and again he would scream out lalochezia’s, while raising the bible over his head. It seemed to on lookers that he suffered from Turrets syndrome. The rumbling sound of the train in the tunnel forced Minos to speak in his thundering God voice,
“I will go down into the belly of the beast and I will smite your minions with my sword of light, the darkness in your heart will be no more, for I am the one and only God. There are no Gods before me!!”
When the train stopped at the platform and opened its doors, Minos boarded on the first car. He immediately started to quote New Testament Scripture’s in its original Greek. Minos began to move through the car while he spoke, heading towards the next car looking for minions.

The train was now deep into Queens and Numberta found herself alone in the car.
“This is the way I like it, a private car for the Princess. No peons to bother me, she said aloud.
On the front end of the Princesses private car, Minos was just opening the sliding door that was the car Numberta was sitting in. Minos walked in and sensed evil, He could smell brimstone in the air, he quickly sat down putting the Bible to his forehead. Minos concentrated trying to see in his mind from which direction was the evil coming from.

Cavatha reached the sliding door that was on the car before the door where Numberta was sitting. He looked through the safety glass of both doors and saw long tanned legs with Manolo Bilanic 5inch pumps. His heart began to race and he reached into his three quater length leather coat, to assure himself he could get to his 10inch kitchen knife. He again looked through the safety glass and saw a man of about 50 years old wearing a long drench coat. The man was holding a Bible to his forehead and seemed to be praying. Cavatha couldn’t hear him, but figured what else would he be doing with the Bible.
"I don’t think that Jesus freak will be a problem, I’ll be in and out before he takes his hand of his Bible", Cavatha thought.
He slowly opened the first sliding door, then stepped out between the cars and stopped a moment. He reached into his coat and pulled out the kitchen knife holding it in his right hand. He reached for the next door with his left hand opening it slowly, so the man at the other end would not hear or see him. When the door was wide open he move in on the long legs. In one motion he lashed out with his knife from right to left slicing Numberta throat from ear to ear, as he sliced he spun left to avoid the splattering of blood. The knife was so sharp that if it wasn’t for the blood gushing out of her neck, Numberta would not have known that her neck had been cut.

Numberta sat there without moving in total disbelief, "how could this have happen, how wanchancy can I be, everything was perfect in my life. I would have been a Queen with everything I dreamed of" she thought as scarlet life oozed out of her neck. She slowly began to slump in her sit.

Minos bolted into a standing position the moment Cavatha had fandangoed with Numberta. Minos again spoke in the thundering God voice,
"Because you have coveted the treasure of the world, you have loss what was most precious to you, LIFE! If you had only stored up treasures in my Heavenly Kingdom, I would have save you!"
Cavatha looked at Minos and said,
'Thanks for seeing it my way, but it is time for you to be sacrificed for sinful man… Bang! Bang!"
Cavatha stood there looking at Minos and said," son –of – bitch!" He then collapsed dead right where he was standing, just then the train pulled into Numberta’s stop.

Minos put his Desert Eagle pistol away in its holster that was on his hip and said,
"The sword of light shines brightly tonight", with that he step off the train looking gambinous.

3

Comments

The convergence of the 3 character narrative strands works really effectively.

Since you mentioned it was for a class a I can't help wondering if part of the exercise was to try to incorporate several extremely obscure words. If you hadn't mentioned it I would have thought you were being gratuitously clever. Don't get me wrong, I have a prodigious vocabulary and adore learning new words, but some of these are not even in my massive 2 volume Oxford dictionary. Worse, some of them are used wrongly.
callipygian is an adjective, not a noun.
Agelasta was the name of the stone on which Demeter rested during her search for Persephone, well used. Meaning stone faced, well used.
quagswag is not a word I can find anywhere.
Gambrinus a legendary Flemish king who was said to have invented beer.

I am confused by the ending.Cavatha should have killed minos for a more powerful and ironic ending.

He looked around as if he were in a Butcher Shoppe, looking for the best cuts of beef. [why the archaic shoppe?]

"What he saw in his disturbed mind" is un-necessary. His following actions show rather than tell.

I enjoyed this, but want to know the reason for the weird words,

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

I am please to say that your observations are corrected I knew if you read it you would give me a true accessment. "The Words" these words were given to us with there meaning by professor Leslie. I looked up the meanings in a on line webster dictionary at the Univercity and the meaning were as she gave them. Now what's interesting I did not find them in encarta or any other dictionary. the reason I had Minos kill Cavatha was to show that people of religous believe have always used the name of god to kill. What was in Cavatha mind was to show that even a cold blooded killer had fears.

Thank you so very much it means a lot to me to have your intellect give me a clear cut truthful opinion.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

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