Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

An Aimless Journey of Two Souls

Two heavenly roads diverged into this callous world,
I took the one less travelled by;
And my soul-mate took the other,
Where her car got stuck in huge traffic jam.

I have been looking for her for years,
And I know, for sure,
Now she is looking for me too,
But in opposite directions.

Let St. Valentine light her tank of love,
Let her come to the crossroads where I still misfire.

(Dhaka, 11 February 2014)

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage: 

Comments

Interesting poem. The last line especially.

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Thanks Mr. George.

author comment

The world is round, so if love is true, it will guide your souls with the sounds of heartbeats ad the day you reunite, would be your St. Valentines Day. Trust your heart, trust your soul and trust your love...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

THanks Mr. Raj.

author comment

nicely done, bro.Keep up the good work.

Alid

but this is the first of your poems I have read. There are some things I would suggest you change, but until I know you better I will refrain.
The other comments enjoyed the subject matter as did I. Somewhat original I should think.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.