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I first heard the hunter's horn
on the day my father died.
I found mortality that morn
and saw the fate from which all hide.

Since then the hounds are often heard
each time another loved one leaves.
By now you'd think they'd be inured
to my scent wafting on the breeze.

And now approaching three score years
the crash of brush and running feet
are heard as hounds and hunter nears
'fore long the hunt will be complete.

But they aren't yet nipping at my heel.
I've still some tricks and a few years.
Though not dead yet I know the feel
as I race through remaining years.

When hunt is done, my bones at rest
near some stream beneath a poplar tree
where the winter sun sinks in the west
heed the wind and you'll hear me.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


Unusual for you to miss a few things maybe those three score years are catching up with you, lol.
I hope these two points are OK to say, Yours Ian.T

(and saw) the fate from which all hide. (seeing)
as I race through (remaining years.) (crying kindred tears)

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I guess I posted this one in too much haste. But I'm always editing my stuff anyway so I appreciate your suggestions and will keep them in mind when my editing pen reaches back to this one...........stan

author comment

The poem flows easily till S4 where you may want to use your skills to keep it flowing through and through is what me thinks...

The theme is definitely appealing ..though I must say it waked me up about the reality...:)


raj (sublime_ocean)

I see what you mean in stanza 4. I wanted the flow to be a tad imperfect in this one so as to mimic the ebb and flow of the hunt. But I think this particular stanza Is a bit too far off the track. I'll keep this in mind in edit and also try to avoid over doing it when, in the future, I try to intentionally tinker with rhythm..........stan

author comment
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