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Inner Light

Submitted by Seren on Thu, 2014-01-16 10:18

This night was kissed
with white satin light

with gentle ease
the breeze
lifted my curtain
in the rhythm
of my heart

Sepia shadows
rippled on the roof
the hum of crickets
reverberated
through the air
this was a discovery
of unfailing peace

this munimented minute
I etched into my mind
as a memory pearl
and means to escape

in the cacophony
of a cyclone of time
as sadness falls
onto my face

I will remember
this moment
in the nothingness
of silent thought

knowing
I only have to
close my eyes
to recapture this
unvarnished sight

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Thu, 2014-01-16 13:57

I liked it and will look out for the edits you would be doing ..surely it would be even better...

hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

Sun, 2014-01-19 08:26

Seren's picture

This is a very rough edit I didn't proofread before I posted it was a whim of sorts lol I will be editing over the next few days I am going to start way back and edit all the poetry I haven't had time to edit, including all my newest stuff

thanks for the read and your thoughts

love and hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Ian.T

Fri, 2014-01-17 14:14

Ian.T's picture
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There you have put into words for others how to have peace in among the turmoil of bad thoughts and sadness.
That you have found a place to go, much warmer than my cave but each to their own lol.
This was felt not written, Yours as always Ian.T and the Children xx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Seren

Sun, 2014-01-19 08:30

Seren's picture

Your so very right this was more felt than written it just came to me in a moment of quiet and retrospection there is still editing to be done but I will get to it in the next few days right now I just don't have the brain capacity to do anything complex I am mentally worn out tonight lol

thanks for your read and your thoughts they are always appreciated

love always Jayne-Chloe xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Roscoe Lane

Sun, 2014-01-19 17:16

Roscoe Lane's picture

The only thing i'd change is,( as a memory pearl, a means to escape). Take away the (and) as i have done and i think it's perfect. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Seren

Sun, 2014-01-26 06:54

Seren's picture

I don't know what happened but I put a comment on here the other day and I noticed just then it has disappeared so sorry I must have mucked it up when I submitted it, I was just looking at an edit on this one and I noticed it, I will have a look at your suggestion in a second when I go over the edit I am working on

thanks for the read and the suggestion they are always appreciated

love and hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

alidzain

Wed, 2014-02-05 18:36

alidzain's picture

Bless you,JC. this piece inspires me to write in imagery. Thank you, my friend.

Alid

Seren

Thu, 2014-02-06 08:27

Seren's picture

To inspire someone is a great gift, thank you for that my friend

love and hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

alidzain

Thu, 2014-02-06 08:50

alidzain's picture

Hey, I have written an imagery poem today. Its entitled "Sunrise".Its my first one after a long, long time.Not perfect, mind you, but I am glad I have challenged myself to do it. Something new..Come check it out when you have the time. I want to hear your opinions and suggestions for it.

Alid

Seren

Thu, 2014-02-06 08:54

Seren's picture

I will take a look at it hopefully tonight, its 1am here I will see how long I can stay awake

Sunrise ? I will make a note of that

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

alidzain

Thu, 2014-02-06 09:07

alidzain's picture

No hurry, JC. Try to have enough sleep. Don't force yourself, dear.

hugs and love
Alid

Seren

Thu, 2014-02-06 09:23

Seren's picture

Going to have a quick read now before bed I will be back tomorrow night take care hun

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2014-02-05 19:03

Ian.T's picture
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As Roscoe says just that and to lose and it is perfect.
To change one more word would not be good it is a dream as it is,
you have learned how to look inside, and there you have found that peace needed for you to recover.
Now you know of the places I go and where my thoughts dwell in a pattern of energy at peace with all things.
I hope your op has gone well and now we can have our Jayne back to full power, Thinking of you as always,
Yours Ian and the Children..
PS:- Sister Teresa sits with you.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Seren

Thu, 2014-02-06 08:30

Seren's picture

I plan to lose it in the next edit I just haven't had time the last few days to do anything by the end of each day I have been exhausted, haven't had my op yet my blood pressure isn't cooperating at the moment its way too low and they are trying to work out wtf is going on, hoping in the next couple of weeks I will get it over and done with

Sister Teresa hasn't been very far away for quite a few weeks

love always JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment
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