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We're So Strange, ARE WE NOT...

We’re So Strange, ARE WE NOT…

Tilting at windmills is tiresome, I know
because I’ve been doing it for years.
Still we’ve got to change this world we
live in, it’s just so ugly as it appears.

People dying for freedoms, they hardly
know what they’re struggles are for.
The next person to oppress them, is
the bastard who took them to war.

We need to take a leaf out of Gandhi’s book,
smash all weapons, use only a labouring hammer,
don’t fight, only work for each other,
you’ll soon hear our grand leaders clamber.

They try to control us with terror,
the enemy just wants what’s ours,
our enemies makes the same silly error,
this is what gives an arsehole powers

Man’s not on this planet to propagate,
our mere existence and actions putrefy.
We crawl across earth intending to mutate,
poisoning what oxygen’s left in the sky.

Our actions in all things tell us this,
the way we always let the weakest fall.
Turning beautiful flowing rivers to piss,
blaming it on a poor cross burdening idol.

Just got to convince ourselves of worth,
we have fairs, junkets, parties and the like.
Celebrating what is excepted as a bastard’s birth,
preparing for what’s our third nuclear strike.

I’m sorry but you lot drive me crazy,
with your pathetic meek effort for change.
Your all so predictable and lazy,
it’s no wonder the rich think we’re strange.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Ask yourself the question, if the meek are to inherit the earth, WHEN? AND HOW MANY ARE STILL DYING TRYING?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A good take on what we are taking lying down in the world we find ourselves in. In doing so you have expressed your profound Angst and helplessness in this Parody if I may call this write.

A few suggestions for your review:-

S2 L2 changing "they're" to "their"

S3 L4 did you mean "clamor" instead of clamber?

S4 L3 changing "makes" to "make": since the earlier word is a plural

S6 L 1
Our actions in all things tell us this,
[Our actions speak more than words]

S7 L3 Did you mean "accepted" or "excepted"?

For me this is a good parody of what all of us need to ponder and act

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you raj, i will make the necessary changes when i have more time. No i did mean clamber, but i think clamor is a better choice. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

All I can say is 'here' 'here' !! I totally agree with it all, you have done it beautifully right now my brains fried I couldn't even begin to make suggestions I will return tomorrow night and see what I can offer :)

Great poem my friend, really, well done :)

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Thank you Jane, i get so angry that everyone knows what the problems are, but we do so little to change. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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