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Reflection

Reflection

The sprites fled the goblins stayed
Was this the winter of my days?
Or just the thought that had gone astray
To haunt me now in these later ways

Did I do all things that were true?
Could I have hurt one such as you?
I feel that in my journey through
there was something better I could do

There I hope that in all my days
That all the bad things in my ways
Would not be shown to other beings
But kept deep inside with other feelings

Then in the winter of the years to see
In reflection of the things done to thee
Persons I have met me are much the same
That as this winter of my days came

The goblins did leave
The sprites did remain

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
just an old one brought back, a skit on age, goblins and sprites.
Editing stage: 

Comments

We need to reflect on our deeds. We need to do it regularly to amend what might went awry.
Very much enjoyed and thought the ending is quite brill
Well done!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Just as you say a reflection on things that pas and as they do the priority changes.
Life to me has been really good, and in that I can give to all I meet a part of that goodness.
I know that it is rare for me to wander but as a poetry site I experiment as I did with Digit, but I have not changed for writing those pieces they were a challenge.
I shall have to dig some of my pieces out I wrote when 15 to see how they are in this learning curve.
Go well young lady and dwell not in lands that are abrasive to your soul, think of something that you can do from where you are..
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

As one experiences seasons come and go by, over a period of time one starts reflecting at these natural changes more consciously and contemplate if they convey something more. If I have interpreted it rightly, I appreciate how well you have connected with the natural phenomenon by looking within in the form of an introspection...if I am way off target just conclude that this is the way I perceived it...lol...

the flow of the poem is pretty smooth, except the line "That as this winter of my days came so" ..I am sure you would be doing an edit which may include re working on this line...

I liked it a lot ...regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

It was a while back that I wrote this, more of a skit or play on things as the life's cycle takes its path and some things change.
Important things change their value, sometimes reversing their role or influence on life.
Thank you for your visit, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Even to my untrained eye it's evident you are getting better and better. But being me, I have a suggestion lol. S-2,L-4 try there was something better I could do..............stan

I have edited that line as you said.
This one has been around for years I can't remember when it was written,
I shall have to look in my original exercise book from the 50's to see if it is there ??
Take care and thanks again, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

There has been a marked difference for me in your writing I think you are coming into your own the stories are coming with ease and the words are being plucked from the ether, This is a really beautiful story I cant see anything to suggest, sorry I did look.

I really enjoyed this one

love always JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Can't remember when this was written it was a few years ago at least 20, but with Neopoet and its teachers it has changed a little and I am so glad that at last we are becoming better at poetry.
Neopoet is a success if it can turn this old fart into a respected poet lol.
Take care little one and put that dress on that you party in and go out even if only in the moonlight, but better a place where there are many people.
Take care and know we think of you , Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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